It was really time to leave the place. It did not feel well there any more and it was clear I can never get happy in this place. I liked this house but I was always under control from Sol. I did not want to hurt her to life there one day with a new girlfriend. She still was in love with me why to hurt someone extra? Also I realized that I pay the highest rent of all there, and the rumours never stop. How to life on a place like this? I was searching around for a new nice place, or better I let search. I told everyone I met that I search for a new place. And it worked. I got nearby everyday an appointment to visit a new place. I travelled a lot around, but mostly if the landlords realized that a foreigner will rent out the place, suddenly the conditions changed and they were asking for more rent or higher deposit. Sorry that I have to say it here, but this is the Filipino way, if a foreigner shows up they get Dollar signs in the eyes. Mostly I turned around and I was not interested in the place any more.
One day I got a message in my mailbox from a girl who read my story here and I started to chat with her. It was really funny. She did not hide in this chat what she is doing and it was a good feeling we got. On the next day I had an appointment to visit a house in Laguna. I asked her if she like to go with me there, cause it looks always better if you show up there alone. She said ok, and we met the next day for breakfast in a mall. We spend a great day cause the appointment was in the evening. By the way to a nice place to have a lunch she took suddenly my hand and I thought an electric shock goes through my arm. I tried to ignore and I thought... this can not be. Then it was time to travel with the jeep to Laguna to meet the landlord there. We were a little bit to early there and we decide to take a drink till its time to go to the meeting point. While were chatting and laughing she received a call on her mobile. I got a strange feeling about this call, but I thought this is not my right to ask about. I ignored. We met the landlord, and once more the conditions changed. Also I had not a good feeling as I went in this house. So I decide direct, that's not the right place and we travelled back with the jip. I asked to bring her home, but she decided to go quickly shopping and then back to her place. I still had a strange feeling but what can I do, she knows her ways better. I asked her to send a message if she is safe at home. She agree. By the way home I passed some bars cause I wanted to think about this day and what I felt as she took my hand. I did not get a message in the night that she is safe at home... I was in worry. At the next morning as I opened my computer I got the answer. I had an off-line message from her that she lost her mobile and she could not send me a message.. I thought ok, but what happen? I reached her on-line and she told me that she got robbed from a guy she met after we met.. That was the strange call from the evening. I was shocked.. what is going on there? I felt guilty that I did not make more pressure to bring her home.. but I can not rescue something only about a strange feeling. I wanted to see her so soon as possible once more. She invited me to her family on the next Sunday. The reason was, that the family after the story with the other guy tried to protect her as well and they were ensure about to meet me. Of course I can understand. So.. I traveled there, also for me a new area to conquer. I thought, if she invited me to her family, she likes me maybe. I liked her too, and I felt there is something special. Its really not like this, that I fall in love to all girls they are nice to me. No, then I would have a lot to do here. We are living in the paradise.. There was something what is difficult to describe. It was a nice afternoon, I played with the kids there and chatted with the mother. I felt good there. In the evening I invited her with her sister in a nice restaurant and we spend a really great evening together. I was falling in love. Why? I was not prepared about, but I did not want to hide my feelings. I took in the night the jeep home and I was on cloud seven. The next days we chatted a lot or we send messages. As we met the the next time she wanted to see my house and the place I life. We met in the Mal like the first time, she was in the traffic and I was waiting two hours till she came. I was happy to see her. We bought some things for the evening and we took the trike to my home. I asked her if she is really sure to go with me there, she knew the story before and the rumours around, I was not sure if its really good to bring her there. But she said that she can handle it, no problem. Also I did not want to hurt the feelings of Sol. Why to hurt her extra. But my "wow girl" wanted to see the place and I had to continue my life. Anyway it was clear that I go out there soon. We spend a great day there and she decide to stay over night, cause it got late and why to make the travel in the night back to her place. she informed her family and we spend a lovely night together. My feelings got stronger.. I really accept my feelings to her and I told her what I feel.
And that was I think my mistake. She started to get unsure, she was in the same way not really prepared to go in a new relationship. If we met us it was wonderful, if she was at home or if we met us on-line, she was far away. I knew that there was a travel with a guy pending to Bali.... She told me from the beginning, but she was thinking not to go since she met me. It was like roller-coaster, but I frighted for her love. I had the feeling we are the perfect team. She could handle all situations easy and knew exactly what to do in the right moment, only in her feeling to me and to her jobs she was unsure. I could handle it and maybe this irritated her that I take things sometimes different then maybe other guys. I only wanted to try it and then we can see what the future will bring. I was happy. At last I found a new house to life. As we were looking the first time the house I asked her if she can imagine to life with me there. She hugged me and looked in my eyes and said "yes" to it. My heart made a jump and I rented the house. Its a nice place, much more quiet then before and I thought what a perfect start in a new life and to get free of all the dramas before. Everything was perfect. New place to life, new girlfriend, new job. Ok the new job was still pending and still I was waiting that I can start, but this was only a question of time. It gave me as well time enough to find a new place, to move in and to create the new relationship with my "wow girl". Also I got a new order to promote a new dating site.
I was really busy with all but it was perfect. I was really happy, only the small cloud about the travel of my "wow girl" was always present and a story from Sol, she started with it some days before, that her period is pending since one month. We woke up in the morning after Valentine. We ended up in my house after we were out with some people in a bar and it was really late and I said to her, stay here and drive in the morning to your home on your off day. She spend always her off day on the place were her son is living that she can care this day about him. This night showed now up with the pending of her period. It was my last week in this place. I asked her to go to a doctor or to make a test and then we will see if something happen in this night or not. I was thinking about to speak with my "wow girl" about, but decided to wait till the result of the test will come. The last two days before I moved out, my "wow girl" was with me. We spend a happy evening with business friends and everything was wonderful. In the next morning, I did not see Sol in this time as my "wow girl" was there. I got a message from Sol, that I should organize the test, that she want to do it now before I leave the place. She knew exactly that my "wow girl" is around. We were out for lunch and I don' t know how we came on the topic, but I decided to tell her what maybe will show up with Sol. The reaction was great. She said, let's buy the test and then we know the result and Sol should come in the evening to us and she will assist her to make the test. About such reaction I called her "wow girl". Really cool. We bought the test in the pharmacy and we drove back. I sent to Sol the message that she can come to make the test, but she did not want to meet my "wow girl". I gave her the test over the fence and she made the test alone. Half a hour later we got the result. It was positive!!!
I thought 'not this on top now', cause it is for me a clear decision, if really one day a thing like this will happen, I take the responsibility and the kid will never grow up in a family I don' t know or on a place far away. Also I would never agree an abortion but it was clear this is not a reason for a relationship with Sol and nothing will change in my feelings to her and my "wow girl". We spoke about some days before as she showed up with this topic. The rest of the evening I was not really in mood to make party. My "wow girl" react on her way and she said, ok, then we care about this kid together and we are three, no problem with her. Once more a reaction from her, that's why I was falling in love with her. The rest of the night was full of love.
The next day, the move out of this place was on the program. My "wow girl" drove at home and Randy picked me up with my few things to bring it in the new place. I went to my landlord to give her the key of the house and to pick up my deposit but they did not want to give me my money. The discussion started because there was no reason to hide my money. All what they could keep is the open water and electricity bill from the last month, but not more. In the house no damages and all the other bills were paid. In the end they offered me a cheque about the half of the deposit, but I never take a cheque, nowhere in the world, also not here. They got cash and I expected cash. We decide that they get the key one day later and I get my money. I was really angry. I had it in the feeling that a thing like this will show up. I spoke some days before with Bam about and he was afraid that I will make a scandal there and that it will fall back to him because he recommended Suzie and me as we applied for this house in December last year. I said to him don t worry and that I will not do things they can fall back to him. On this day as I spoke with Bam about I received after long time a message from Suzie that Bam sent her the news and that I should not make trouble there with the landlord. As I got this message I was with my "wow girl" on the way to a "greet and meet" meeting with a client. She wanted to answer on her funny way, but I said if she is doing it this will never end the rest of the evening. So we ignored I only called Bam what kind of stupid idea it was to send out a message to Suzie. I was disappointed that he did it. I felt rear. Was he maybe one of her agents? I could not imagine. The rest of the evening one missed call after the other from Suzie, but I closed my mobile, anyway we were in meeting. Also the weekend she tried to call me I don't know how often. I did not care about. I could solve out the mistake from Bam till the weekend I moved out, but anyway the deep trust to him is broken, cause I did not want was that Suzie knows where I will life in the future.
The move out was easy. I have still not much more then as I arrived and with one way everything was in the new place. I went shopping to fill up the fridge as I received a message from my "wow girl". I expected only that she is save in her place but as I read it I had the feeling my heart explored. "I will not come there any more. you have now a new responsibility you have to care for her and the baby." I was shocked I could not believe what I read. I did not call her direct, I had to swallow this message first.. I went home with my things and tried to get her on-line. She was not on-line. I was waiting till she locked in. Then I asked her how I can understand things like this, the day before to plan with me the future and now this.... She felt suffering about Sol suddenly and she wanted that I build up a family with her... What a nonsense, she knew exactly what I feel and how I will handle the situation, and anyway we have nine month time to think about what will happen. In the end of the chat I thought all is more or less ok and it was clear that this was only a short panic attack or doubt about our relationship we tried to start. But who can I know if its right or wrong before I did not try. But I got a bad feeling that she is maybe really not prepared to go with me together and that she is searching for a reason to go out of it before we started.
Next day I picked up the half of my deposit in cash and I met Sol in the afternoon outside the area on her off day, because we had to speak about the new situation and how we can handle it together that this kid will find the best way in this world. On the way to the meeting point I got the idea to buy once more a test and I wanted to ask her if she can do it now once more. I would be a surprise for her, because if she has nothing to hide she can do it once more. Normally no problem. I think everyone would do it, to get really sure. But Sol is not everyone. Sol refused the second unexpected test. She wanted to take the test at home and do it there and why I don t believe her and so on. Why she should do it because it is anyway not my case. I don t need to care about and this is not my topic. Also she plans to go in her province in two moth to her mother and I will never see this child. I said to her that is not only her child if its from me and I will never accept that this kid is out of my influence, of course I will make an DNA-Test if this child is born and really from me, but this I would do always. We discuss nearby three hours and in the end she was agree that I will take the child after born and she only has the responsibility the next months. We separated in friendship and for me this topic was done for the moment. I took the unused test with me. I called my "wow girl" and I asked her if I can come to her place because I wanted to see her. I heard it in her voice that she was happy to see me this day. I started my travel to Cavite . Two hours later I was there, I bought on the way some donuts for the family and I got a happy welcome as I came there. I was thinking to buy some flowers for her mother as well, but I thought this is maybe too much in the moment. We went in a nice bar nearby her place and we spend a wonderful evening like a teenager couple in love. It got late and I brought her back to the house of her mother. The mother owned in front of the house a small shop with barbecue and as we arrived two guys were sitting there and were drinking. We got invited to sit with them and it was really funny. I like evenings like this, to sit outside and chat with the people. The mother liked it as well that I am so open to people and not like the most foreigners far away from the people they living here. It got later and later, as I wanted to go home the mother offered me a place to sleep in her house, but I could not stay because I had to be the next morning in Manila to renew my visa. I brought my "wow girl" in her apartment and after some hugs and kisses I made me on the travel at home. I was happy and full in love with my "wow girl". And I had all reason for, because she decided this evening that she will not go to Bali and that she want to try to life with me in my new place.
Monday I was in Manila to get my next stamp in my passport. I had to do it once more because the company were I should start soon, were not able to organize the working visa in this time since I got the message that I can start after all medical test and paper work. To get a stamp in the passport is normally an easy thing, here on the Philippines they need always four hours for it. Between my "wow girl" and I, we sent us some lovely messages and I was the whole day like on a cloud, happy smiling like all people here. After I got back my passport I met the client from the week before to clear out some things and late evening I was back in my home. The day ended with a chat with my "wow girl".
The next day I was running around to organize a police clearing and some things for the house to make all nice and to prepare all till my "wow girl" decide to move in as well. In the evening I received a message from my "wow girl" that she thinks about to come with her things this night or the next morning. I was dancing in my house. We met us on-line but it was late to travel now but I should call her very early in the morning 5 o'clock and then she will come. I programmed my mobile that I don t miss the time and went happy upstairs in my bed.
5 o'clock in the morning I called her, it was clear that she will be tired but she sounded really happy on the phone, but she said she will come midday. Anyway I had some things to do and I made my timing that I can be back till my "wow girl" will arrive. I was really running around that I can be back. I got no message from her so I thought she is on the way. I called her and she was still at home and she said she will be there in the evening.. Hmmm I felt like a fool. But ok. I went home and was waiting on a message when she will come now. It got evening, nothing, I sent her a message, no replay. I was in worry and then I saw her logging in the messenger, why she was on-line now and not on the way like decided? She said that she will not come now and that she thinks it a mistake to life with me, anyway its raining strong. Yes, this was after a long time the first time that it was really raining strong. I was sad, angry, complete irritated. Why suddenly once more changing of the decision in the complete contra way? I said to her: I pick you up now, it does not matter if its raining or not, I would swim through the ocean to see her and to pick her up if it this what she wants.. She said: "Pick me up"... I changed my clothes and travelled through the rain to her. As I arrived she was ready to go and we took the same trike back to the bus point. We spoke not so much, she was laying in my arms and seams to be happy. I was not sure if I should be happy now or if I went one step to far. We went something to eat and I saw in her eyes there is something wrong, but she did not wanted to speak about. We arrived late in my home, she got prepared for the night and we went to bed and my "wow girl" was sleeping in my arms. I thought we have time to speak the next day and I felt happy in sleep.
The new day start with a happy breakfast we laughed together then she went back upstairs to go on-line and I worked on my order downstairs on my computer. Sometimes she came down, hugged and kissed me, or I went up and hugged and kissed her, like teenager. Still I had mixed emotions but I felt the harmony between us. After a while she came down with her charger of her laptop and said the charger made a small sound and then nothing... this thing was broken. She could not continue with her work without this thing. She said she will go home now to pick up the other charger and that she will stay there. I asked her if I should go with her and she said "no", she wanted to go alone. We made some happy pictures in this morning, it was really funny... now she was packing her things and wanted to go home.
We started to speak and she told me that she needs more time and that it would be better for me to find a girl who loves me really, she likes me like a friend but she don t love me so much like she need to be with someone together. I felt lost, I did not get it in my mind what happened in this moment. But to love someone means also to let him go. Then she received a call on her mobile.. She did not tried to hide something she seams to be happy to get this call and the words I heard were like a knife in my heart. The call ended with the words "I love you too." Then she said to me: " Next week I go to Bali........ maybe we meet before I go."
I missed all words in this moment.
On the way to the trikes she took my hand like normal, I felt the same electric shock in my arm like the first time she did it and I knew: This will be maybe the last time. Also I got like in the first day a strange feeling, that something will happen.. I hope really that my feeling this time is wrong...
We drove to the main road that she can take a jip at home. Then she was away. The last I heard from her is a message I received. "Thank you. Its not sorry that you are in love. I am the one sorry that I cannot love you back".
I saw her the last days on-line, she did not send a message, I was not able to contact her. I need also my time now. Maybe we get one day a second chance, it was maybe the right girl in the wrong time.....
matthias
I met a “wow girl” but..
It was really time to leave the place. It did not feel well there any more and it was clear I can never get happy in this place. I liked this house but I was always under control from Sol. I did not want to hurt her to life there one day with a new girlfriend. She still was in love with me why to hurt someone extra? Also I realized that I pay the highest rent of all there, and the rumours never stop. How to life on a place like this? I was searching around for a new nice place, or better I let search. I told everyone I met that I search for a new place. And it worked. I got nearby everyday an appointment to visit a new place. I travelled a lot around, but mostly if the landlords realized that a foreigner will rent out the place, suddenly the conditions changed and they were asking for more rent or higher deposit. Sorry that I have to say it here, but this is the Filipino way, if a foreigner shows up they get Dollar signs in the eyes. Mostly I turned around and I was not interested in the place any more.
One day I got a message in my mailbox from a girl who read my story here and I started to chat with her. It was really funny. She did not hide in this chat what she is doing and it was a good feeling we got. On the next day I had an appointment to visit a house in Laguna. I asked her if she like to go with me there, cause it looks always better if you show up there alone. She said ok, and we met the next day for breakfast in a mall. We spend a great day cause the appointment was in the evening. By the way to a nice place to have a lunch she took suddenly my hand and I thought an electric shock goes through my arm. I tried to ignore and I thought... this can not be. Then it was time to travel with the jeep to Laguna to meet the landlord there. We were a little bit to early there and we decide to take a drink till its time to go to the meeting point. While were chatting and laughing she received a call on her mobile. I got a strange feeling about this call, but I thought this is not my right to ask about. I ignored. We met the landlord, and once more the conditions changed. Also I had not a good feeling as I went in this house. So I decide direct, that's not the right place and we travelled back with the jip. I asked to bring her home, but she decided to go quickly shopping and then back to her place. I still had a strange feeling but what can I do, she knows her ways better. I asked her to send a message if she is safe at home. She agree. By the way home I passed some bars cause I wanted to think about this day and what I felt as she took my hand. I did not get a message in the night that she is safe at home... I was in worry. At the next morning as I opened my computer I got the answer. I had an off-line message from her that she lost her mobile and she could not send me a message.. I thought ok, but what happen? I reached her on-line and she told me that she got robbed from a guy she met after we met.. That was the strange call from the evening. I was shocked.. what is going on there? I felt guilty that I did not make more pressure to bring her home.. but I can not rescue something only about a strange feeling. I wanted to see her so soon as possible once more. She invited me to her family on the next Sunday. The reason was, that the family after the story with the other guy tried to protect her as well and they were ensure about to meet me. Of course I can understand. So.. I traveled there, also for me a new area to conquer. I thought, if she invited me to her family, she likes me maybe. I liked her too, and I felt there is something special. Its really not like this, that I fall in love to all girls they are nice to me. No, then I would have a lot to do here. We are living in the paradise.. There was something what is difficult to describe. It was a nice afternoon, I played with the kids there and chatted with the mother. I felt good there. In the evening I invited her with her sister in a nice restaurant and we spend a really great evening together. I was falling in love. Why? I was not prepared about, but I did not want to hide my feelings. I took in the night the jeep home and I was on cloud seven. The next days we chatted a lot or we send messages. As we met the the next time she wanted to see my house and the place I life. We met in the Mal like the first time, she was in the traffic and I was waiting two hours till she came. I was happy to see her. We bought some things for the evening and we took the trike to my home. I asked her if she is really sure to go with me there, she knew the story before and the rumours around, I was not sure if its really good to bring her there. But she said that she can handle it, no problem. Also I did not want to hurt the feelings of Sol. Why to hurt her extra. But my "wow girl" wanted to see the place and I had to continue my life. Anyway it was clear that I go out there soon. We spend a great day there and she decide to stay over night, cause it got late and why to make the travel in the night back to her place. she informed her family and we spend a lovely night together. My feelings got stronger.. I really accept my feelings to her and I told her what I feel.
And that was I think my mistake. She started to get unsure, she was in the same way not really prepared to go in a new relationship. If we met us it was wonderful, if she was at home or if we met us on-line, she was far away. I knew that there was a travel with a guy pending to Bali.... She told me from the beginning, but she was thinking not to go since she met me. It was like roller-coaster, but I frighted for her love. I had the feeling we are the perfect team. She could handle all situations easy and knew exactly what to do in the right moment, only in her feeling to me and to her jobs she was unsure. I could handle it and maybe this irritated her that I take things sometimes different then maybe other guys. I only wanted to try it and then we can see what the future will bring. I was happy. At last I found a new house to life. As we were looking the first time the house I asked her if she can imagine to life with me there. She hugged me and looked in my eyes and said "yes" to it. My heart made a jump and I rented the house. Its a nice place, much more quiet then before and I thought what a perfect start in a new life and to get free of all the dramas before. Everything was perfect. New place to life, new girlfriend, new job. Ok the new job was still pending and still I was waiting that I can start, but this was only a question of time. It gave me as well time enough to find a new place, to move in and to create the new relationship with my "wow girl". Also I got a new order to promote a new dating site.
I was really busy with all but it was perfect. I was really happy, only the small cloud about the travel of my "wow girl" was always present and a story from Sol, she started with it some days before, that her period is pending since one month. We woke up in the morning after Valentine. We ended up in my house after we were out with some people in a bar and it was really late and I said to her, stay here and drive in the morning to your home on your off day. She spend always her off day on the place were her son is living that she can care this day about him. This night showed now up with the pending of her period. It was my last week in this place. I asked her to go to a doctor or to make a test and then we will see if something happen in this night or not. I was thinking about to speak with my "wow girl" about, but decided to wait till the result of the test will come. The last two days before I moved out, my "wow girl" was with me. We spend a happy evening with business friends and everything was wonderful. In the next morning, I did not see Sol in this time as my "wow girl" was there. I got a message from Sol, that I should organize the test, that she want to do it now before I leave the place. She knew exactly that my "wow girl" is around. We were out for lunch and I don' t know how we came on the topic, but I decided to tell her what maybe will show up with Sol. The reaction was great. She said, let's buy the test and then we know the result and Sol should come in the evening to us and she will assist her to make the test. About such reaction I called her "wow girl". Really cool. We bought the test in the pharmacy and we drove back. I sent to Sol the message that she can come to make the test, but she did not want to meet my "wow girl". I gave her the test over the fence and she made the test alone. Half a hour later we got the result. It was positive!!!
I thought 'not this on top now', cause it is for me a clear decision, if really one day a thing like this will happen, I take the responsibility and the kid will never grow up in a family I don' t know or on a place far away. Also I would never agree an abortion but it was clear this is not a reason for a relationship with Sol and nothing will change in my feelings to her and my "wow girl". We spoke about some days before as she showed up with this topic. The rest of the evening I was not really in mood to make party. My "wow girl" react on her way and she said, ok, then we care about this kid together and we are three, no problem with her. Once more a reaction from her, that's why I was falling in love with her. The rest of the night was full of love.
The next day, the move out of this place was on the program. My "wow girl" drove at home and Randy picked me up with my few things to bring it in the new place. I went to my landlord to give her the key of the house and to pick up my deposit but they did not want to give me my money. The discussion started because there was no reason to hide my money. All what they could keep is the open water and electricity bill from the last month, but not more. In the house no damages and all the other bills were paid. In the end they offered me a cheque about the half of the deposit, but I never take a cheque, nowhere in the world, also not here. They got cash and I expected cash. We decide that they get the key one day later and I get my money. I was really angry. I had it in the feeling that a thing like this will show up. I spoke some days before with Bam about and he was afraid that I will make a scandal there and that it will fall back to him because he recommended Suzie and me as we applied for this house in December last year. I said to him don t worry and that I will not do things they can fall back to him. On this day as I spoke with Bam about I received after long time a message from Suzie that Bam sent her the news and that I should not make trouble there with the landlord. As I got this message I was with my "wow girl" on the way to a "greet and meet" meeting with a client. She wanted to answer on her funny way, but I said if she is doing it this will never end the rest of the evening. So we ignored I only called Bam what kind of stupid idea it was to send out a message to Suzie. I was disappointed that he did it. I felt rear. Was he maybe one of her agents? I could not imagine. The rest of the evening one missed call after the other from Suzie, but I closed my mobile, anyway we were in meeting. Also the weekend she tried to call me I don't know how often. I did not care about. I could solve out the mistake from Bam till the weekend I moved out, but anyway the deep trust to him is broken, cause I did not want was that Suzie knows where I will life in the future.
The move out was easy. I have still not much more then as I arrived and with one way everything was in the new place. I went shopping to fill up the fridge as I received a message from my "wow girl". I expected only that she is save in her place but as I read it I had the feeling my heart explored. "I will not come there any more. you have now a new responsibility you have to care for her and the baby." I was shocked I could not believe what I read. I did not call her direct, I had to swallow this message first.. I went home with my things and tried to get her on-line. She was not on-line. I was waiting till she locked in. Then I asked her how I can understand things like this, the day before to plan with me the future and now this.... She felt suffering about Sol suddenly and she wanted that I build up a family with her... What a nonsense, she knew exactly what I feel and how I will handle the situation, and anyway we have nine month time to think about what will happen. In the end of the chat I thought all is more or less ok and it was clear that this was only a short panic attack or doubt about our relationship we tried to start. But who can I know if its right or wrong before I did not try. But I got a bad feeling that she is maybe really not prepared to go with me together and that she is searching for a reason to go out of it before we started.
Next day I picked up the half of my deposit in cash and I met Sol in the afternoon outside the area on her off day, because we had to speak about the new situation and how we can handle it together that this kid will find the best way in this world. On the way to the meeting point I got the idea to buy once more a test and I wanted to ask her if she can do it now once more. I would be a surprise for her, because if she has nothing to hide she can do it once more. Normally no problem. I think everyone would do it, to get really sure. But Sol is not everyone. Sol refused the second unexpected test. She wanted to take the test at home and do it there and why I don t believe her and so on. Why she should do it because it is anyway not my case. I don t need to care about and this is not my topic. Also she plans to go in her province in two moth to her mother and I will never see this child. I said to her that is not only her child if its from me and I will never accept that this kid is out of my influence, of course I will make an DNA-Test if this child is born and really from me, but this I would do always. We discuss nearby three hours and in the end she was agree that I will take the child after born and she only has the responsibility the next months. We separated in friendship and for me this topic was done for the moment. I took the unused test with me. I called my "wow girl" and I asked her if I can come to her place because I wanted to see her. I heard it in her voice that she was happy to see me this day. I started my travel to Cavite . Two hours later I was there, I bought on the way some donuts for the family and I got a happy welcome as I came there. I was thinking to buy some flowers for her mother as well, but I thought this is maybe too much in the moment. We went in a nice bar nearby her place and we spend a wonderful evening like a teenager couple in love. It got late and I brought her back to the house of her mother. The mother owned in front of the house a small shop with barbecue and as we arrived two guys were sitting there and were drinking. We got invited to sit with them and it was really funny. I like evenings like this, to sit outside and chat with the people. The mother liked it as well that I am so open to people and not like the most foreigners far away from the people they living here. It got later and later, as I wanted to go home the mother offered me a place to sleep in her house, but I could not stay because I had to be the next morning in Manila to renew my visa. I brought my "wow girl" in her apartment and after some hugs and kisses I made me on the travel at home. I was happy and full in love with my "wow girl". And I had all reason for, because she decided this evening that she will not go to Bali and that she want to try to life with me in my new place.
Monday I was in Manila to get my next stamp in my passport. I had to do it once more because the company were I should start soon, were not able to organize the working visa in this time since I got the message that I can start after all medical test and paper work. To get a stamp in the passport is normally an easy thing, here on the Philippines they need always four hours for it. Between my "wow girl" and I, we sent us some lovely messages and I was the whole day like on a cloud, happy smiling like all people here. After I got back my passport I met the client from the week before to clear out some things and late evening I was back in my home. The day ended with a chat with my "wow girl".
The next day I was running around to organize a police clearing and some things for the house to make all nice and to prepare all till my "wow girl" decide to move in as well. In the evening I received a message from my "wow girl" that she thinks about to come with her things this night or the next morning. I was dancing in my house. We met us on-line but it was late to travel now but I should call her very early in the morning 5 o'clock and then she will come. I programmed my mobile that I don t miss the time and went happy upstairs in my bed.
5 o'clock in the morning I called her, it was clear that she will be tired but she sounded really happy on the phone, but she said she will come midday. Anyway I had some things to do and I made my timing that I can be back till my "wow girl" will arrive. I was really running around that I can be back. I got no message from her so I thought she is on the way. I called her and she was still at home and she said she will be there in the evening.. Hmmm I felt like a fool. But ok. I went home and was waiting on a message when she will come now. It got evening, nothing, I sent her a message, no replay. I was in worry and then I saw her logging in the messenger, why she was on-line now and not on the way like decided? She said that she will not come now and that she thinks it a mistake to life with me, anyway its raining strong. Yes, this was after a long time the first time that it was really raining strong. I was sad, angry, complete irritated. Why suddenly once more changing of the decision in the complete contra way? I said to her: I pick you up now, it does not matter if its raining or not, I would swim through the ocean to see her and to pick her up if it this what she wants.. She said: "Pick me up"... I changed my clothes and travelled through the rain to her. As I arrived she was ready to go and we took the same trike back to the bus point. We spoke not so much, she was laying in my arms and seams to be happy. I was not sure if I should be happy now or if I went one step to far. We went something to eat and I saw in her eyes there is something wrong, but she did not wanted to speak about. We arrived late in my home, she got prepared for the night and we went to bed and my "wow girl" was sleeping in my arms. I thought we have time to speak the next day and I felt happy in sleep.
The new day start with a happy breakfast we laughed together then she went back upstairs to go on-line and I worked on my order downstairs on my computer. Sometimes she came down, hugged and kissed me, or I went up and hugged and kissed her, like teenager. Still I had mixed emotions but I felt the harmony between us. After a while she came down with her charger of her laptop and said the charger made a small sound and then nothing... this thing was broken. She could not continue with her work without this thing. She said she will go home now to pick up the other charger and that she will stay there. I asked her if I should go with her and she said "no", she wanted to go alone. We made some happy pictures in this morning, it was really funny... now she was packing her things and wanted to go home.
We started to speak and she told me that she needs more time and that it would be better for me to find a girl who loves me really, she likes me like a friend but she don t love me so much like she need to be with someone together. I felt lost, I did not get it in my mind what happened in this moment. But to love someone means also to let him go. Then she received a call on her mobile.. She did not tried to hide something she seams to be happy to get this call and the words I heard were like a knife in my heart. The call ended with the words "I love you too." Then she said to me: " Next week I go to Bali........ maybe we meet before I go."
I missed all words in this moment.
On the way to the trikes she took my hand like normal, I felt the same electric shock in my arm like the first time she did it and I knew: This will be maybe the last time. Also I got like in the first day a strange feeling, that something will happen.. I hope really that my feeling this time is wrong...
We drove to the main road that she can take a jip at home. Then she was away. The last I heard from her is a message I received. "Thank you. Its not sorry that you are in love. I am the one sorry that I cannot love you back".
I saw her the last days on-line, she did not send a message, I was not able to contact her. I need also my time now. Maybe we get one day a second chance, it was maybe the right girl in the wrong time.....
continue with--->"The Shadow in the paradies"