My name is Matthias 44 years old and I live now since November 2008 on the Philippines.
I will never speak bad about Suzie, cause I loved her one time and maybe I still love her. All I want is, to tell everyone the truth what happened to me with this woman. This is a story about love, cheating, lies, trust and mistrust, dreams, hope and helplessness. This story is not written from hate or revenge, but a story, only the life can tell. It is MY story from March 2008 till now ...... this story is not invented under 30° in the shadow in my head...... It is the truth and I can bring the prove if someone can not believe....
Read till the end and make your own thoughts about, and if you met her one time in your life, then tell me your story and we post it on this site... and Suzie... if you read this. Send me your side of the story. Maybe you tell me one time in your life the truth. Maybe then I can understand......
HOW WE MET:
It was in march 2008 I was working in the night in a hotel in Spain, by daytime in an office for marketing research, my relation was broken after 5 years, I was thinking about my life and that I have to change something. One day suddenly I came on the idea, why not to go to the Philippines, to have some rest and maybe if I like it there I stay. I started to get information about the land, the people and how it is. I did not want to make the same mistake like before as I relocated from Germany to Spain, only to show up and then we will see, no I wanted to know more before. I came on the idea, better to speak with the people direct, they can tell me their life and I get some real views. It was never in my idea to search for a woman or relationship, but I opened an account in Date in Asia. I only want to spend my time in the night and to talk with some people. It was unbelievable how many messages I got always when I was online. The most of them only with "hi", "hello" or "how are you"... I deleted them all. Only some of the messages shows, that the women, or girl read my profile till the end and I answered. Some days I had a nice talk with a girl named Arlene, and we were talking about cheating in websites and that I have to be careful with some girls there, but she can introduce me to her girlfriend Suzie, cause she knows much more about. She gave me her Yahoo-ID and I contacted her.
We had unbelievable funny chats about months and we got really good online friends. It was always interesting, amusing and she explained me a lot of things how it works on the Philippines. She never asked for money and I started to trust her. I had no reason not to do. We were friends. She told me all about her life, her family, her work, about her dreams, her goals and all about friends are talking. I told her from my life, about my ideas and that I plan to come soon to the Philippines to visit the country, and that I plan to change my life and, if it's nice there, I don't have a problem to relocate to the Philippines. New country, new people, new experiences. This was my need in this time.
I had also some nice and interesting chats with some other girls and women and I made some really good friends. As well I made some good business contacts in Xing, cause I wanted to plan my future in this time in Manila and not only holiday.
It was June, my idea to go for a while to the Philippines got stronger and anyway my contract in the hotel runs out. I decided not to renew the contract and to go there. I planed how to manage all with my apartment and the daily things in Spain. Beginning of August everything was clear, I rented out my apartment to a friend and I booked the tickets. In this time I met online Ning. We also got friends and as I told her I will come and I need an apartment for some weeks, she started to organise my new basic in Manila. I only had to tell her when I will be there and she will pick me up from the airport.
PHILIPPINES PART 1
End of August 2008. Ning picked me up from the airport and I was in Manila. The first evening we visit a comedy bar, near the place of Ning, cause I wanted to try "Weng Weng". A cocktail, I heard before, and I wanted to try. This was the first "Weng Weng-Patry" of many. Also some friends of Ning where there, later I called them the "weng-weng-girls". I had a perfect entrance to the Philippines.
The first days, I was under control of Ning and she gave me an perfect view of the city and I started to meet my business contacts and to find my own way in this city. I bought a map to conquer this 11 Mio people chaos.
The contact to Suzie in this time was a little bit sleeping, I didn't met her online for a while so I couldn't tell her that I am in Manila. One evening I saw her online in the messenger and I told her that I am here. First she didn't believe me, but we made an appointment to meet for a coffee. She asked where I am living and she told me that she will pick me up. OK, a little bit unusual to make the first personal meeting in my apartment, but never mind. I knew that never something can happen, and she came.
I didn't want to stay with her in my apartment, because I felt that she felt a bit uneasy. We went in Starbucks around the corner. How it is sometimes, the first meeting is mostly not so good, and we didn't find really a topic to speak. I thought, OK, online nice and funny, real life nothing to say. We had our coffee we exchanged our mobile numbers. I went back in my apartment and she went at home. I thought, that's it, was nice not to talk and we will never met again.
Some days later, I was on the way to Manila City, my mobile was ringing and Suzie was in the line. She asked me where I am and what I am doing today. I told her my plans and she said she is nearby the place where I wanted to go and if we will meet us. I said 'OK', I don't need to spend my time alone and maybe she can show me some interesting places. We met us in one of this mals and then we had a walk in one of this parks.
She wanted to show me the biggest Mal in Manila and we made a trip with the jeepney to the Mal of Asia (MOA). The first time that I drove with such a thing. But this is one of the possibilities to come from one place to the other in this chaos of traffic. All passengers where locking at me like an alien, cause it is not usual, that foreigners driving with a jip. the most tourist or foreigners are using taxis, but I wanted to live normal then everyone here, so I drive with jips and tricycles like everyone. It was a really nice day and we found also our topics to speak. We were around like friends. On this day was nothing in my mind about relationship or affair.
Also on this day, Suzie went home and I went back in my apartment. In the evening we met us online and we decided that we will meet us the next day and that she want to come to me. Next day in the afternoon she came to me and we had a nice dinner in one of this fast food restaurants here. It is difficult to find here a good restaurant. But she wanted to go there, OK. It got late and she remained in my apartment. I am not the type who's using such situations and I can sleep in one bed without touching. I am waiting always for the right sign, and it didn't come. We woke up in the morning hand in hand, but nothing more. She was laying in my bed, watching tv and I was working on my laptop.
As I came out of the shower, suddenly we started to kiss and I think the rest is not necessary to tell in the detail. Only, the first time is sometimes also not perfect . She asked me if she can stay one night longer and from this day Suzie was in my life.
I was not prepared for a relationship. I was honest to her that I still not finish with my ex girlfriend in Spain and that this is not my time for a new love. She told me she feels the same with her ex boyfriend in the time as she was in South Korea, who hurt her so much and that I am the first man after three years.... and it is OK for her that I think like this.
Next day, I had a business meeting in Makati and Suzie asked me if she can use my laptop in this time to check her mails. No problem, I have nothing to hide, I left the apartment and meet the people. I told her, please don't make downloads or such things on my lap. Next day she wanted to go back to her place and I also wanted to sleep one night alone. I was sitting on this day on my computer and I received some documents from a client per mail. I downloaded them and I found in my download folder a zip-file. I was sure. This was not from me. I opened this file and I was sitting minimum 10 minutes with open mouth in front of my laptop. In this folder I found really hot pics from Suzie with an other guy...... I don 't want make this pics public, for this is here no place.... This pics were from beginning of august.... I thought, three years are longer then a few weeks, but ok, not my thing what she was doing before we met us and anyway, we are not married. But I wanted to know the truth about, cause she told me I am the first man since three years... One thing I hate, lies!!! It doesn't matter what was or what someone is doing, but if I ask, then I want to know the truth. In the evening I met her online in the messenger and I told her, I want to show her something and if she can open her web cam. She opened and we made photo exchange... I sent one of the pics I found, and she was nearby falling from her chair. She closed her cam directly... I was smiling. She told me, this was with an Italian guy she met and she didn't want to tell me about, cause she was afraid that I loose my interest in her or that I am thinking bad about her... (such a nonsense) and this guy was bad to her and he cheated her and so on... I thought OK... and I told her, that she should tell me better always the truth before I found out things and I have to ask... This was clear and everything was OK for me. I kept this folder, I don't know why, but it was good.
We were living in my apartment like a normal couple. I introduced her to my "weng-weng-girls" to the next party and I thought it is a good idea. all what she did on this evening, she was playing with her mobile and was absolutely not interested in the people or in the party. Ning and her friends asked me, what is it, they tried to talk to her, but she was still playing with her phone. I felt really uncomfortable and I went home with her. I asked her why she can not have fun, but I didn't get a clear answer. Ning asked me one day, why I am with her together, and that she is not really the right girl for me. But I was on Suzie's side and my "weng-weng-girls" accepted my decision.
All was fine, but one day I had the feeling I have to be a little bit alone and I asked Suzie if she can go some days to her home. It was only that I can have some nights alone, nothing more. She understood it like, I kick her out on the street and that I never wanted to see her. She misunderstood complete and she left the apartment under anger and said she will never see me again and so on. I said OK if you can not understand, that I need sometimes my time only for me, I have to accept it. She went home and was really angry about me with still the film in the head I kicked her out of the house... By the way to her home she sent me one SMS after the other, why I hurt her so much, why I kicked her out and so on... It cost me really nerves to bring her down from this trip. She continued also in the messenger like this, she didn't want to understand that I only wanted to sleep one night alone. She never wanted to see me, I spent my time with friends and for me it was done. But... some days later she called me, we met us and and she understood. Pffffffff. Hard work. Why I did it? I don't know.
I renewed my visa to stay longer and it was more or less quiet in our "relation". It was middle of September and the trouble starts in Spain. The friend left my apartment there without telling me and my money didn't receive on my account. As well, I got a message from my ex girlfriend that she thinks it was her biggest mistake to cancel the relationship. Now I was in trouble. Mixed emotions in the love life, money pending and Suzie. All crashed in Spain, here all wonderful. I tried to fix it from Manila, but in the end it was clear I have to go back to Spain so soon as possible. I called one of my best friend if he can send me money till I am back in Spain and some days later I could book my fly back. It was not in my plan, but there was no other possibility. I was sad, I felt there is something starting in my heart.
My last weekend I spend with a business partner on Mindoro, because we planed to work some things out and we had to visit some resorts. We were in Franklyn Resort in Puerto Galera, a wonderful quiet place. Normally a place for people in love.... I missed Suzie.
We spend the last day together, I bought some presents, but I was sad, because it was not really clear if I can come back in the same year. We didn't say goodbye on this day. She gave me a kiss and turned around, without any look back. I was standing there like lost.
The last evening I spend with my "weng-weng-girls" in the comedy bar from the first day and I got a great exit through the same door I showed up.
The fly back was long, expensive but quiet, only my memories were working. After 30 hours I was.....
.....BACK IN SPAIN
The first evening I met my ex girlfriend and the evening ended up in old argues about our past relationship. I was guilty in all and that she is so happy with her new boyfriend. I presented her the chain from black pearls, I bought for her in Manila, and I left the place drunk. It was clear in this case is no way back. The next days I was busy to clean out all the problems and I met my old friends in my famous bar. I had a lot to tell, but I felt very soon, this is not my place any more. It was like holiday, everything quiet like Sunday, fresh air. No traffic chaos, noise or smog like the last six weeks in Manila. Nearby everyday I met Suzie in the messenger or I called her. I realized I have to go back as soon as possible. She told me she missed me so much and that she always remembers the funny time we spend together, and as well the nights... we started to plan our future. One day she told me, that her biggest wish is a child from me. BUM... honest, I was on one side happy to hear such things, on the other side in shock, because a child is not only a thing what quickly produced. For me, a child is a decision and a responsibility for the life. And I am not really hot to reproduce myself... I think I am not so important. Any way.. she is mother from a five years old boy, who lives with her sister in Bacolod. I said to her, let's see if I am back, let's find a nice place for us and your boy and with the time we can try to make the family bigger, if you really want it. In all this talks she told me that she planes to go to France for one month to visit her cousin and that she will come back and we start our life. OK. It was not sure when I can come back to the Philippines and I said to her lets see, and foreign experiences are always good for the life. If I will come earlier, then I will wait for her, till she is back from France. My plan was to spend Christmas and New Year on the Philippines with her, and if she really wants to go to France in March, I will wait. I was in love, I had my goal for the future, I only needed to fix the things in Europe, to catch some money and to book the tickets.
I told her give me some months and I will be back and then I want to know the real Suzie. I think she didn't believe me. I organized everything, I found someone who bought all my things, I made some small deals and I sent my absolute private things back to Germany. Middle of October I cleared all out and I bought the tickets first to Germany, because I wanted to visit my family and to clear the things there. Then I was sitting in the air plane, only with my bag and my laptop.
All the time Suzie and I we were in contact, messenger, web cam, phone and I was sure in her love to me. She was in this time by her son and then back in Manila. What I know today... I am not so sure if it was true, but in this time I had no doubt.....
PHILIPPINES PART 2
My flight was Frankfurt-Amsterdam non stop Manila. Suzie picked me up from the airport with her sister. One of her relatives who is always asking for money. We checked in in Townhouse Manila. A small backpacker hotel. Not the big luxury, but ok. It was not planed to stay there very long, because we wanted to search for a place to build our new home together. We ended up directly there where people in love are going after such a long time missing the hugs, the kisses and so on. The sister was waiting in the lobby and after a while we went all together to the Mal of Asia to have something to eat. The most of all was eating her fat sister. Suzie and I only a small snack... We sent the sister at home and we spend the rest of the day in our small room. The following days we spend with fun in the city, in mals and we were happy in love.
But also the normal life had to continue and I spend everyday some hours for my work on the computer. After all before, and Suzies endless time with her mobile we decided before that I reduce my online time and she her endless sending of messages and playing with her phone. We had it under control. I was mostly working in the morning when Suzie still was sleeps and in the evening when she was using the computer from the hotel. I knew she has a lot of chat mates, why not? We all have our friends and she was with me. Why to control what she is doing. Every morning I brought her the coffee in the bed and then we planed the rest of the day. Some days we were spending the hole day in the bed, like people in love are doing. I knew that she gets some money from somewhere, she told me old friends in Korea are still owning her money and some chat mates sending her without asking... why not... why to control, it is not my case. She never asked me about my money and any way I paid our daily life. She sent sometimes some money to her son, but this was clear, that she has to cover him.
Sometimes we took a bus and we drove out of the big city, out of the noise and smog. We went to Tagaytay, a wonderful place for enjoying the time.
One Sunday we visited friends from Suzie in Bataan. Good friends from South Korea are living there and we spent the hole day around with our private trike driver. In all the time she only checked short her mobile, the rest was only she and me. Not like before, only the nose on the phone.. We enjoyed really.
With the time we had to go out of the hotel. We were sitting long time together and we were thinking about to go somewhere on an island or if we try to find something in one of the 17 cities of Metro Manila. In the end, the decision was Metro Manila. She called some friends and we were looking around. In the neighborhood of some friends was a small free house in yellow color. (I was not thinking about the meaning of the color in this moment). Not big but for two people in love, right. I asked her if she will be sure to go there, because in such a familiar surrounding field quickly rumors will be going around and she has to know how to handle it. I would be the only foreigner in this area and everyone will have a look at us and they will starting to speak if I talk with someone. And she knew, if I live in such an area, I want to go in touch with the people and not to live like something different. I wanted to be a part of the community. For her no problem and we rented the house in Paranaque City.
On December 19th we went in. We were really welcome there. Everything was funny, happy and we started to organise the new home. I organized the internet connection, because I need it everyday. And Suzie was also tired to walk always in the internet shop. It was Christmas time and everyone was crazy about. Christmas on the Philippines is party everywhere. In the evenings I was mostly with my new neighbors in front of the house and we were chatting about the life. Suzie in this time mostly in front of the TV or online. She could use my Laptop in this time, because I still don't have something to hide. And I would never come on the idea to control my partner what she is doing on my computer. For me is trust the basic of love. I had my fun with the neighbors and she online. I was a little bit sad, that she was not really interested in the people around, but it was her thing. I saw her more and more starting playing with her mobile. I was only angry about if we were shopping and discussing what kind of cooking thing we should by, or at the cash point to put the things on the band and she was only texting in her mobile. This were the moments as I said something about, that she please put her plaything in her pocket. She could really standing in the middle of the shop between the Christmas shopping chaos and texting... What can be so important?
From morning till the night was everywhere party. Not like in Europe silent, no, techno-beat and karaoke sing sang everywhere. What to do.. to get crazy or to buy a box of beer and to show up in the party. I decided buy myself better party then crazy. I asked her if she want to go with me, but she wanted to stay at home. I bought a box of beer and went to the neighbors opposite the street.
I met there Sol. Sol is a housekeeper from one of our neighbors beside. A nice cute 22 years old girl. We were sometimes chatting with the other people around in front our house. Harmless chats between neighbors. Suzie and Sol were sitting sometimes in front of our house and were chatting also. They liked each other.
In the middle of the party someone came to me and told me that Suzie is standing in front of the gate and is watching at me. I asked him, why she is not coming in? I went out and asked her and tried to bring her in the party. The best possibility to show us as couple. but she preferred to go back in the house. Why she did not come in the party? She made herself to a fool in this moment. I finished my beer and went back in the house. I asked her if I made something wrong. The only answer I got was "nothing - enjoy". I said "OK", went to bed and after a while, as here daily soaps were finish in the TV, she came also. Rest was hugging and so on.. outside techno-party. There was no possibility to sleep, so we spend the time with love. This was always great. She loved it and there were not so many days without. She could not keep her fingers on her side.
On December 26th the Christmas party of the community stars in front of the house. All neighbors in the street came together and we could meet all in one place. This was the first day that we showed up as a real couple and everyone knew that she is my girlfriend and I am her boyfriend. I wanted to make it clear, that no one comes on the idea to start with rumours. To send out a sign that we are inseparable and there is no way to interrupt this relationship. Everyone who asked me how we met us and so on, I told how much I love her and what kind of wonderful woman she is.
The rest of the week was quiet and we were mostly at home. Suzie busy with her mobiles and soaps and I organized the rest. Sometimes we drove in the city, were sitting at the Manila Bay and enjoyed the rest of the year. We planed to go to the big New Years Party in Malate, but it was raining the hole day and we saw in the news the traffic chaos around. And from Paranaque City to Manila in this chaos needs hours and to get late in the night a taxi, nearby not possible. Weather bad, a lot of traffic, we decided to stay at home, anyway our neighbors opposite invited us to their party in the evening. We showed there up around 10 PM and they treated us like super stars. Extra table, extra food, always someone was caring about us that everything is ok. For me difficult, because I wanted to be a part and not something special. Suzie enjoyed and it was one rare evenings outside that she had really fun with other people.
The start in the new year was relaxed and easy. Suzie liked it to keep the house, washing clothes. I told her, lets bring the clothes in to the laundry, but she wanted to sit in the bath and washed all clothes with the hands. I felt not pleasant to see it, but I could not stop her. I was working on my computer and of course I realized that Sol, our neighbor girl, is always watching at me and that she is always smiling to me. I did not imagine anything thereby, because in this country nearby everyone is always smiling. And she is cute, and a nice smile is a good feeling any way. I met her sometimes in the evening with the other people to chat at the small shop and Suzie was more and more busy in the evening with her chats in the internet. I told Suzie that I like Sol as a person and its always funny to have a small chat outside. Her answer was, yes she has an sexy ass.
Suzie had her fun, I had my fun and everything seemed in order. Sometimes we were sitting together and we were amused about some guys they tried to flirt with her or offered money for naked pics. She always kicked them out of the line, and I didn't care about, because I still trusted her and I thought... Let her the flirts... She is here and she loves me. I have no problem if someone is flirting with my girlfriend. They have something to dream and in my arms she will awake in the morning. I am not jealous if I don't have a prove that something goes wrong.
All the time since we were together the topic about her trip to France comes out. But in this time more and more. Always when I asked her about, the story was in small points different. First it was planed to visit a girlfriend and her husband and that she can work there for one month in a hotel as an receptionist. Logic. They need there someone from the Philippines without any knowledge of French. The next time she planes to visit her cousin for two months only for holiday and to learn something about the country. An other day it was for four months to keep the children of the cousin, cause they want to go for an business trip to USA. For her time she spend there, they want to give her the money that she can start her business and to take her son on her side. She told our neighbor she will go to France as an shop assistant in a jewelery and she will try to bring her there also. The only similar thing in all variations was only the city. The trip should go to Belfort.
One Friday, Sol asked me if I can borrow her my small camera, because she will go with the family of her boss to Tagaytay. I gave her the camera and everything seemed normal. I told it to Suzie and she asked me, why she didn't asked her before. I said: "Why she should do it? It's my camera and why to ask you, that you can ask me and I say to you 'yes' and you give it to her. This is complicated. She is our neighbor she asked me and everything is ok." What I got was, a long face and she started to play with her mobile.
It was Sunday, January 11th. I had an business appointment in Makati and I left the house 1pm. I didn't know that this day was the off day of Sol. From where I should know it? In the taxi to Makati I called Sol, if everything was ok with the camera and if she can bring it to Suzie. I don't know why I was thinking on it in this moment. I did not see her in the morning, that's why I called her. It was out of my mind and I was in the meeting with some people. I received a message from Suzie "enjoy your day with your new girlfriend". I thought what's happens now? No new girlfriend around, only business and a text like this. I went to the cleaning room and called Suzie and asked her: "What is wrong? I am here in Makati and you are thinking that I am together with an other girl? I have really other things in my head then to think on an other girl or girls or however!" She only said: " I know it and I love you so much." But still every half an hour a text with stupid comments like "enjoy your time" and so on. I didn't react on it, anyway I asked her before if she want to come with me to this meeting, but she preferred to stay at home. It got late and I passed by in an shop from our internet provider, because of a technical problem and then I took a taxi at home. Suzie was sitting with some people in front of the small shop and drank some beer. Not normal for her. She don't like to drink. I took also a beer and was sitting with all outside. She took my mobile, she used it sometimes if her load on her phones were empty and she went into the neighbors house. Between, Sol arrived with a taxi from her off day and went directly at home. Our neighbor came out of his house and told me that Suzie is sitting in his house and crying, that I cheat her and that I called Sol and that I dated her and so on. Shortly thereafter Suzie showed up and ordered me in our small home and started crying, shouting, that I dated Sol today and that I called her before and threw my mobile against the wall. First I was listening, smiling and tried to wait till the storm is over. Inside I was amused and I didn't understood the theater. As I had the possibility to speak I explained her why I called her and that I was in Makati, and from where I should know that Sol has her off day on this Sunday. If I have something to hide, I would delete the number out of my memory and no one would realize something. I programmed Sols number with Mira, because her full name is Mirasol and my bank in Spain is programmed with "Sol", because it is the "Solbank". For me logic, anyway its my phone and I can program there what and how I want. What she had to search in my address book of my phone or in my memory? Before, she texted to Sol with my phone really bad things. I don't want to repeat the words, because this would be in every film under 18 years with a "piep" over-sounded. Suzie didn't believe me. All the neighbours were listen this theater. The women came in our house and they tried to bring her down. I decided, better to drink a beer and smoke a cigarette, because I did nothing wrong. I thought about to give her the number of the business people, but can you imagine? What is more embarrassingly than this, if she really would call them? In the end it was discussion till 3AM till I could go to sleep.
From one day to the other Sol was her hate object and this without any proved reason. To bring some silent in this situation, the neighbors and I organized a silent talk between this two women. The only comment from Suzie was, if she will realize that Sol will speak with me one time, then she will put her face against the wall !!!! I told her this is not the way. we are living here in a small area. Sol is working there, I am moving here also and in this case its normal that we will speak sometimes. Where is the problem? And if Sol really is falling in love with me, what Suzie imagined, there are always two parts included that an affair will start. Anyway, no one in the world can give me the order with whom I am allowed to speak or not. The small cute Sol was so afraid that she didn't leave the house without watching that Suzie is not around.
The "chicken war" was open. First I was really amused about all the theater. It was new for me, that someone starts to fight like this about me. Especially without any reason, only that maybe someone is a little bit falling in love with me, and someone else Suzie something whispered in the ear, that I am always be so sweet to this girl. Really, there was nothing more than some harmless talks and always someone around. How you want to be "sweet" to someone? I am not so stupid and start in such a small area an affair with the girl from the neighborhood. I wanted to live silent with Suzie and everyone knew I love her. So why Suzie got so jealous about her? No prove, no reason and she was flirting every evening with some guys all around the world. I think I could have more reason to be jealous.
The next day was more or less silent buy daytime. Sol was afraid to go out of the house, I didn't saw her. Suzie normal by chatting on her mobile. The sun was shining, but a big shadow over our relationship and our new home. Everything seemed different. The easy feeling was over. In the evening I saw Sol. I went to her and said it can not be that someone runs around and tells us with whom we are speaking or not. I was ashamed about the reaction of Suzie and I said sorry to her. In this moment Suzie runs out of the house saw us, and the theater starts from new. Sol flees in the house from our neighbors and they closed the door. Suzie like a kamikaze behind her, without knocking at the door into neighbors house and stated to fight in front of the neighbors kid. In this moment my patience was over. I took Suzie out of this house in our place, closed the door and explained her, honestly, it was not friendly, that this is now really to much. Not like this. There is always a civilized way to fix the things and we are all grown up people in a small community and such terror will never find a place in my life. I never was so ashamed about a partner like in this moment. I never expect that my partner will do things like this, especially without reason. And that I expect now from her that she is going to Sol with a big sorry, also to the neighbors that she was fighting in front of the small boy in their home, otherwise I don't see any future with her here and in my life. I was more than disappointed about such a reaction. She wanted to send an message to the neighbors (it is not 20m from our house). I said: "This can not be that you want to fix it now with a message? Go there and speak with the people and by the way, go to Sol and do the same." She said:" Never in my life to this piep, piep, piep, piep, piep, and so on and on and on!!!! She promised me that she will never speak with you, and what she did? This piep, piep, piep and so on and on and on." I said to her:" It was me, who was speaking with, her not she with me. If you want to fight, then fight with me, I only said sorry to her about you, because I feel really ashamed about what you are doing here." I reached it that she was going to the neighbours, but nothing more. I felt disappointed, offended, angry, sad and helpless. All in one. After a while she came back and told me: "If you don't stop to speak with this girl, then I pack my things and I am away." A small world broke down in this moment in my heart. I said:" Then do it, but do it now!" I Ieft the house, took a beer at the small shop and walked around the area. I couldn't believe what was happen. And still I don't understand it. As I came back, she was by packing, I went up in our bed, took my laptop with me, my headset and I was listen music. In this night she was sleeping downstairs on the sofa. The first night without her on my side since I was back here. After a while I tried to sleep, but she was laying on the sofa, and was playing with her mobile, she got it some days before as a present from a chat mate in England, she said, and was listen the music I uploaded as she got it some days before... without earphones. My only comment was:" If you don't stop this shit now, or if you don't take the earphones, I kick this thing out on the street." It was silent a while, I tried to sleep, but she opened the TV...... It was a sleepless night.
In the next morning I made my coffee and for her also, like every morning since we were together and I was sitting like every morning an our terrace with my coffee and my laptop and checked my emails. The only different was, Suzie was continuing to pack her things. Her phone was ringing and she spoke extra loud to a guy, I think one of her chat lover, that 'she is so sad, because her ex boyfriend cheated her with the neighbour girl and hurt her so much and that he kicked her out of the house now and that she has to find a way to fly at home to her son to Bacolod.' I was outside near by exploring... I really needed all my control, that I don't stop this call. And all this in the morning 7AM after a sleepless night. I realized it some days before that always in the morning her phone was ringing and I asked one time, what kind of idiot is calling you in this time... I got no answer.
To take a little the wind out of the situation, I asked her if we should go to the basketball field to play speed badminton, this is a sport between squash, tennis and badminton. I brought it with me from Spain. We always were playing in the morning one or two hours and we had normally really fun with it. My idea was to talk with her outside in an easy way, to find a solution for this small problem, because she still had no reason to be jealous. We were playing a while and we had really fun. We used the complete field and we were sweating like hell. In the break I asked her if she really want to cancel all we started only about a small girl who's looking at me? Why she made such a drama out of it, its makes no idea? I don't look at her and why she can not trust me and believe that there is nothing more then a harmless talk between other people and that I am still not guilty, that this girl on the same day outside the area was, then I in my meeting. I told her that she is my woman on my side and that I really love her. I thought if I speak with her in silent and if I explain her silent that there is no reason to be jealous, that she maybe lined up enough to say sorry to Sol and we can be easy living in this small area. But no way. Only if I her promise never to speak to this piep, piep, piep any word.... I felt helpless. We tried to continue to play, but I was so angry that I shot her the speeders around her head.... She lost the mood to play with me and we went at home.
After this conversation I saw no way out of this problem and I could not imagine how I can plan a future with someone who is so jealous and so uncivilized to start a fight without reason. And how to plan a future with someone who can not trust and believe? I was thinking to go with her on an other place, but there will start the same drama with an other girl who is maybe looking at me... A never ending story.....
She took a shower and left the house to go to a travel agency to buy her ticket and and a suit-case for her clothes she bought in this time, or I presented her. I used this time to install the WIFI modem in the neighbours house to change my thoughts. After a while she came back, asked me if she can use my laptop and was sitting on the terrace to check her mails or whatever. As I was finish with my job, she was packing her things in her new suit-case and told me that her flight will go on Friday. I asked her: "And were you want to stay so long?""Here," she said. I answered:"No way. If you want to cancel all, then do it now.""Please, Please let me stay, I love you so much" with tears in her eyes. Tears from women are working always... I can not be so hard to kick someone I love out of the house. I went on my computer and tried to work. I opened the browser and her mail account was still open. I told her so often:"If you are finish with your things, close your accounts. If you do it in a internet shop, everyone can read your mails..." Normally I closed it always because it's not my thing to spy behind my partner, but on this day I found a list from mails, always from one guy. Some days before I realised that she was in folders in my computer she don't need for her chatting game with the guys. She was in folders where my private things are archived. I have nothing to hide and anyway she can not read German, but this are folders where her nose is on the wrong place. And if she was spying in my phone and folders, then I can have also one time a look.
I opened one mail from this guy and I found the truth about France. The attachment was the requesting form to get married what she should sign for the French embassy to open the visa. I was in shock.... what to do? I copied the mail with the description how to fill out. This mail was from December 16th 2008. Three days before we went in in our house. Also I found a mail from her that she sent this document to this guy, only signed, and he should fill it out. This was beginning of January and that she missed him so much and that she can not wait longer and she loves him so much and so on and on... I found some other mails from him and a picture. I remembered the zip-file she downloaded in August, as I was the first time here, on my laptop. It was this "Italien" guy she told me.. No, it was her future husband in France. She planed all the time to get married and told me that she loves me and plans with me our future.... and this since we know us personally.... and then to make a drama, only a girl is looking at me? She lied to me since we know us...!!!!!
I closed her mailbox, my computer and I was looking really stupid. I could not believe. Suzie was laying in the bed and was sleeping. I trusted her more then 100% and then such a truth.... Well. It needs really a long time that I switch totally out of my control. I was nearby, but so more heavy a story, so more silent I am and my brain starts to work. And this was really heavy. Never react directly, breathe and think. My force-potential is not very high. And how I said to Suzie, there is nothing in the world what can not fixed out civilized. To go up and kill her? Not a good idea. Anyway she is still two days here.
I took a beer, a cigarette and I was tiered, because after a sleepless night and such a news it was not possible to think about clever things to do. I could not sleep. I was laying on the sofa two meters under her and I was watching the fan on the top. What was the reason that I found it? Maybe she wanted to give me a sign and it was planed from her that the mailbox was open? But I asked her so often about France, why she did not told me? I started to smile and I thought, not bad my girl. You are a really good actress. Suddenly I understood why she always had money if she had a need. She was working the hole time on my laptop and got paid from guys around the world. But why to go to marry in France? OK, I know it's not easy to travel with a Philippine passport. Maybe she plans her big deal. To get married, to take all out and an European passport, get divorced and with enough money back to the Philippines to start her own thing. Also not logic. Better to sit on the sun and get the money like now about chatting and telling sad stories. All this things what she told me over month how this "bad" girls are working in the date lines. She was always talking about herself. Between, she met sometimes one of her chat mates, like me, and this guys, like me, finance the daily life... rest is profit... note bad baby. Mostly living in nice resorts or hotels, with the sureness the guy is away in maximum three weeks. Sexual satisfied with alternation. Really professional.... and then to make such a drama about a girl with an nice smile who's looking at her actual boyfriend... All this was running in my head. I didn't find the logic in this game. She told me one day that she did not expect that I will come really so soon back to the Philippines, but if I was here, why she did not cancelled the show with France? As opportunity if something goes wrong with me? Maybe... then she can use her ticket now. But why this drama here? Why not easy?... "sorry Matthias, I expect it different..goodbye"... why this theatre and fighting with this girl? .... once more not logic.
Suzie disturbed me in my thought with a message on my mobile. Why she text me if she is laying two meters up in the bed? She texted one of her standard lies:"She loves me so much..." and so on. I said to her:" If you want to speak with me, it's better you come downstairs as this stupid game with your mobile, I know this is the only thing you love, but I am the reality." She came down and she asked me if she can sleep in the last night in our bed, because on the sofa she can not. Right, this sofa is not really to sleep. I tried it one time, after a half a hour, everything pains. I asked her if she thinks that's a good idea. And I told her, that I am buy sure not be willing to sleep on this sofa. I said: "Let's see", and I changed the topic. I wanted to know the truth from her, I did not want to tell her what I found. I built her a bridge to tell me easy the truth about France and all her plans. First she told me how much she loves me and that she will come back and that she needs only holiday with her son and to fix all the problems with her family. She never told me really the problem with her family, all informations about was only that they asked her always for money, that they are lazy and that they make pressure to her, only that they are keeping her son. But they don't care right for her son and spending the most of the money for themselves. After I met her sister, I could imagine.
We were talking long time and Suzie told me always that she loves me so much and that she will come back and we are starting new. I told her if she really loves me, why she don't cancel the flight and stays here and we plan how we go together somewhere and starting new. I could not go with her direct to her island, because she did not want, that her family knows that she is together with a foreigner. Because then it will never stop that they ask about money. She wanted to fix the problem there alone, then to come back to Manila for the interview in the French embassy, she still kept her story with the help to her cousin in France, and then to come back and we start our new life. I told her, I am not sure if I want to wait so long on her, because maybe she will never come back and will meet there one of her chat mates and will stay there. Her answer: "Are you crazy?" I think, more open a door can not be to tell me the truth. But she did not. I thought, why to tell her now what I know. To the appointment for the interview is along time and as well, till the flight goes to France is also a lot of time, let her fix the problems with her family, maybe she will sit somewhere there on the beach and she thinks about what was happen here and we will have the chance to speak if she is back in Manila in some weeks for her appointment. Maybe she changed her mind and her idea. I was sad, that she didn't take the chance to tell me the truth. One sign more that she don't trust me. I was not sure if I can, or if I want to life with such lies in the background. Maybe it's better she is going for a while and then we will see. I was tiered to start the next drama. So, I decide to say nothing more about France and her plans to get married very soon with this guy. I only said to her that I am sad about how our funny and happy time ends, but I will always remember how happy we were in the last two months.
As we went to bed, I was laying on my side, she on her. We both could not sleep. We did not speak, we were laying both with open eyes side by side. I was not in the mood to start to touch her or so... that's not my thing. I was laying there and was waiting till it gets 5AM and the taxi to the airport will come. She came on my side and started to kiss me. I said: " I think this is not the moment to do such things..." But she kissed my doubt and tears away... She knew how to catch me. She always told me how much she will miss me and her favourite plaything, I mean in this moment not her mobile, and how much she loves me and she will come back so soon as possible and then we start new. The next two hours I could not think about all the stupid situations, all my sadness and all the shit. This was the last time that I was not thinking about this story.
We were sleeping a little bit and two hours before her taxi was ordered we stood up. She was packing the rest of her things and I was sitting on the sofa and all the memories showing up in my head. I was sad, disappointed and all the mixed emotion were coming up. I still was thinking if I should tell her what I know. As she was finish with her things to pack, she came to me on the sofa, was laying in my arms and we were sitting one hour like this to wait for her taxi. Sometimes a hour can be very long. I did not want to go with her to the airport. I hate partings like this.. and I don't want standing stupid with tears in my eyes on the airport. I think this moments are so finally. And I tried to tell me always... she will go only in holiday. I lied to myself. I still don't know why I did it... but i could not believe what I know and I don't want to believe that it should be maybe over forever.
The taxi came, I brought her suit-case to the car, she took her small bag with her mobiles and the mp3 player, I present to her one day. I put her our songs on it. She likes "The Eagles" like me, we always were listen "Desperado" or "Hotel California"... I should put the textes here... Why can songs be so true? She opened the door from the taxi, gave the taxi driver some advices, gave me a kiss turned around, closed the door and was away... without one look back. The same goodbye like the first time before I was flying back to Spain last year.... And once more. I was standing like lost on the street.
Normally the story was over on this point... The rest maybe in some weeks. But I missed totally....
The rest of the night, I was sitting on my terrace and was thinking about what to do as next. I decided to go out in the evening to meet a friend in Malate, to have some drinks and then I will see.
I got a message: "babe thank u so much for all the tym u spend for me but now im here now in the airport.i love" (original text) In the following time we taxted till Suzie had to switch off her phone in air plane. She told me how much she will miss me and also that she met on the airport an Canadian guy and that she is happy now, cause this guy make her laugh....... and once more a cold shower... I closed my phone. I was really tiered about her lies. I met Sol at the fence to our neighbours and I told her that Suzie left the house in the night and that I am really sorry for all the situation and that I am still ashamed what Suzie did to her. She told me that she planes to visit her brother in the hospital over the weekend and that she will use this time to think about other things. I told her that I plan to go out in the evening and doing the same. I went back to my computer and she to her work in her family. I did not see her the hole day. I was working some things out to come on other thoughts but I did not open the files, I saved one day before, once more on this day. Some hours later I got a message from Suzie "babe im here now in bocolod" and some other messages about I should take care about me, I am so important for her and that she miss me and she loves me so much ... same story like always. Then she sent me a message that she saw the nice ocean there and the weather is so nice and that she will look for a nice place for us.... My nerves and my thoughts were dancing samba... I wanted to come on other thoughts and she texted always such things... I wrote her that she should think about all and enjoy the time there... She texted back:"Yes I will and u2 enjoy ur lyf there with someone"... She could not stop with her film that I have an affair with Sol or with someone... After a while she texted that the music, I uploaded on her phone and mp3 player, is so wonderful and she will always remember me and that she is thinking about a plan on the ocean with me there... this runs over hours till she arrived at the place of her family. I did not reply to all this messages... any way I hate it. Why not to call, everything is said in two minutes and then to continue with other things. Its cheaper, saved time.. why not easy. It's an illness here on the Philippines. Everyone is texting the hole day, everywhere, always...makes you crazy if you want to speak with someone and this person is texting between the conversation. Not only Suzie is like that. I don't want to know how many millions of messages are going around on this islands day by day.
I closed my phone. I was tired to text around and to read all this lies from Suzie. I finished my work on my computer and started to make me ready for my first single night since two months. I left the house short past 7PM. Buy the way to the trike terminal, the only way to come out of this area, I met Sol. I did not know that she left her home nearby the same time. Why should I think about, why to make an update, when, where is leaving the house? There is only one way to the trike terminal, so we went together there. She took her trike driver and I took my trike driver to bring me me out of the area. Outside the area, I took a taxi and I was on the way to Manila to find somewhere a nice place to take a dinner. I did not know the way from Sol and how she want to come to her place she wanted to go. It was not in my mind. I tried to find a nice place to relax.
I was still sitting in the taxi as I got a text from Suzie :"enjoy your tym with your new girlfriend". I thought 'OH NO'. Someone of her agents saw us walking the same way to the trike terminal and they sent her a message that I date Sol and that we were leaving together the area where we live. I could not answer so quick as the next text arrived "i know you date this (piep). you are the last (piep) i hate you". I did not expect that she arranged some agents to spy behind me, what I am doing or when I am leaving the house. I answered that I am in the taxi alone and that I am on the way to find something to eat. This was my mistake, I should have to close my phone and enjoy the evening. But, I tried to explain my ex girlfriend that her agents are telling her the wrong story. And why she believes more other people then me? What gives them more reliability then me? I called her, but it did not help. The phone call was without result, she was crying on the phone that I lie to her and that I cheat her with this (piep) and so on. I asked her why she left the house if she is in doubt that I cheat her with someone? It was an endless discussion. In the end I told her, that she cancelled the relationship and I do know what I want. The rest of the evening I got one message after the other from "I love you so much and I miss you" to "you are the last (piep) i ever met, why you hurt me so much" over "enjoy you new life with this (piep) (piep)..." I did not reply. I read them all and I tried to enjoy the good music in the bar with the friend I met there. I drank one Jack Daniel Coke after the other. In the end of the night I was really drunk. I wanted to find a taxi, but my Philippine friend said: " It's too dangerous in the night, drunk, a far way with the taxi alone, they will cheat you or however." He invited me in his house and I slept directly on the sofa.
I woke up in the morning in a house I did not know, on a sofa I did not know. But alone. OK. I found on my mobile only some messages from the night before and I thought, maybe she understood. I had absolutely no mood to go back home. On this place where I am the hole day under control of the agents of Suzie. I decided to go to the bus terminal and take the next bus to the ocean. A weekend without laptop and stupid people around. I was not prepared for a trip like this, but no matter. I drank my coffee, because the Philippine breakfast is not possible for me to eat. Rice and meat or whatever, not really warm...Sorry no. Not in the morning. Especially after such a night.
I found the bus terminal and I took the first bus I found and I said to the driver:"Bring me to the ocean". He said "OK". I took my place and the bus starts. My camera was laying at home, shit. No matter. The trip goes to Batangas. I was there one time as I was on Mindoro. The barcas are landing there to come to Puerto Galera. I thought ok... I only wanted to see the ocean, to get some fresh air in my head and to decide what to do with Suzie and my life. The trips in the buses are always funny. Every view meters someone comes in or out and sellers try to sell you hand food. I don't know exactly what it is. But it taste good. I don't know what else I ate since I am here and I don't want to now it, honestly. It was silent on my phone and I enjoyed the trip.
It was 10:50AM on Saturday as the first messages from Suzie arrived: "Gud morning 2day i went 2 the clinic 2 get check up d doctor told me im pregnant."
I could not reply direct. I was in shock. Of course she threw up in the last days very often, but this could be also her nervous stomach. I made my jokes about, but who is thinking on this? From the time table possible. And she knew how I was thinking about. I paid the pills, that things like this not happen. I trusted her, why I should control every morning if she really take them. Also it could be one of her stupid stories. Three minutes later the next text: "Cuz i know u been enjoy ur tym with ur new gurl alot of people they knows it that u saw u both last nyt together bt anyways thanks and gudluck for ur newlovelyf with her im ok nt mad at u im hapi cuz im pregnant i think dis is a nice gift dat god gve 2 me thank u alot". (sorry, but this is the origianl text how she was always writing her texts). Then she called me, but I could not speak with her. It was really noisy in the bus. I only told her that I am on the way to Batangas and that I call her so soon as possible. Then the texting terror start from new. The rest of the trip, I was busy to find out from her if it's true or not. She started that's not my problem and that I should enjoy my new love with this woman and she is happy and anyway I will never met this child , because I cheated her and hurt her so much. And that I ruined our relationship and so on and on and on and on..... between she loves me so much and why I hurt her so much and why I lie to her... but thanxs for the present of the child....never ending story. I got really stressed slowly. She was still believing the messages of other people, and all I said was for her always a lie.
The bus stopped somewhere in Batangas. I bought a fresh T-shirt, toothbrush and cream, shower gel and I was on the way to find a small hotel. I thought. First I need a shower, fresh clothes and a beer. I took a jeepney to come nearer to the ocean and I found a nice place. I checked in, took my shower and my first beer on this day. Then I walked to the ocean and I did not replay all the messages from Suzie. I closed my phone, was sitting on the peer and was only thinking how to stop this night mare. Who was lying all the time? Who was planing behind me the wedding party? What is my mistake in this film? I did not find the answer on this day. I checked sometimes the new messages but I did not reply. One of her last messages was: "but what island you now cuz if you tell me the truth i believe u i love u so much and u so important for me cuz soon ur a daddy mathias". She changed her feeling from 'I will never hear something from you, and she hates me to the biggest love message', I can imagine. Something in her head seems to be really wrong. Between I received a message from a number I did not know :"hey mathias its me sol im here now in manila thanks for the time together". First I never reply on numbers I don't know and second this message could not be from Sol. No reason to reply. Once more a joke from Suzie. By sure. It was night now , I was still sitting there on the peer but now was time to search for a bar to get some entertainment. I closed my phone.
I woke up in my hotel and I was sure, the show is over and now she will get the answer. I will write down this story and I will make it public. Everyone will know what kind of woman she is. And the first step will be to stop her dream trip to France. It was now really time to kick back. The first what I will do, If I am at home, I will catch me her agents and a big wind will go through the area. That was the first goal. To protect my home. My combat spirit was awoken.
Suzies first message was on this day only "goodmorning babe". 'Hmmm' I thought. I answered that I am on the way back home to clean out the area from her agents, and that I call her if the situation is cleared. She answered she will waiting my call. The trip back in the bus was quiet, no messages more and I could think about what to do as next. I was angry, that I have always to fix the shit from Suzie...
As I was at home I met my neighbour and he told me that they got the hole weekend messages from Suzie, that I am with Sol somewhere and that Suzie is pregnant and I cheat her, that she will come back, that she loves me so much but I hurt her so much and that she got the prove, that I date this girl and so on. The same stories I got this weekend. I found out, that all the people we know together, got the SMS terror from Suzie, that I cheated her with the neighbour girl and that I kicked her pregnant out of the house. What a lie... once more.
The first I did was to cancel my birthday party end of January. I don't have mood to celebrate my birthday with people they telling stupid things and lies about me. No. Better alone or with some really good friends somewhere outside. I told my neighbour, he wanted to organise it all, to tell the people why I don't do it, and that the agents from Suzie are guilty about, that I celebrate somewhere else. The plan for the party was to invite all the neighbours and to make a nice party with all... but under such people. No way. I know, that's only one or two or three, but this was my way to show the community, not like this. As Sol arrived from her weekend she shows me also that she got minimum 20 messages from Suzie and all with bad "piep"-words. Unbelievable how much time and energy she in her illusion invested. Suzie told everyone the same lie, that I kick a pregnant woman out of the house. I am happy that my friends can laugh about such things.
I thought about to send out to all her friends the pictures I found in the zip-file. That they get a nice present from her. Wednesday January 21st was her birthday, I thought that is a nice present for her if she don't stop this terror. I called her in the evening and I told her that she had to stop all this lies and that I expect now from her now, that she will send out to all the people before, the truth, that she cancelled the relationship and not I, with a big sorry. Especially to Sol. I told her that if I don't get a respond from all the people, especially from Sol, that I will send out the pics from the "Italian"-guy to all her chat mates. First she did not understand what I mean. Because the "Italian"-guy was in real the "French"-guy and she forgot what she told me in August last year. She did not know that I have still this folder. I saw no other possibility to stop her. First reaction: "never mind go further"... some minutes later, panic. She called me back. She was once more crying on the phone:" You can not do things like this, I love you so much, I miss you, and please don 't do it..........blablablabla" I only said to her:" You know what to do, you have 24 hours time to stop your agents and to say sorry to Sol and to the other people. Don't waste your time. Go." The rest of the evening I was spending on my computer to check all my mails and to bring me on the actual point in the normal life. As I was finish I thought, there must be a way to stop the trip to France. I opened the mails I copied some days before, and I read the story of this man. His name is Thierry. As I read it all, I thought by myself: ' this man is emotional not really stabilize for a game from Suzie. I don't want to go here now in the detail, I hope Thierry will tell here his story also one day. I thought, if Suzie will go to France to make the same show like here, married this man, gets all money and what he has out of him, gets an European passport, makes her jealousy show, gets divorced... I don't know what will happen with this man if he realised that he was only cheated. I was in worry that something really bad can happen to this man or to Suzie. I felt, this could be a game without control and especially Suzie can not control a game like this. She is good, but for this game not good enough. I closed my computer and went to bed to think about. I received some message from Suzie like always, that she loves me and so on... the normal things. Only nice messages. But I was thinking what to do, to go in touch with Thierry or not. On one side I thought, what he will do if I tell him the truth. Suzie will tell him the same like me about him, that I am her ex boyfriend and that I want her back and that I hurt her so much and how bad I am and anyway only lie. He will believe her and everything will go his way. I have to bring him the prove that I am not interested in Suzie, that I want to protect him in front of a big mistake in his life, that this man believes me. What to do? I didn't sleep this night. I was walking up and down, left and right, I made a walk through the area and I was thinking. Do it or not. If I do it, I will break a heart from a man in France, but I protect him to make a big mistake. If not, Suzie starts a game without control and who knows how this man react if he realised the truth. On one side I thought, why am I thinking about the feelings of a man in France, I have enough to do with my own, and let them do what they want. On the other side, I felt responsible. If I know something and I feel this can go totally wrong, I have to safe the situation and maybe one or two life. I have to think about.
Tuesday January 20th. I was waiting the hole day on the respond from my friends that Suzie tried to say sorry. Nothing, but it was silent and no more terror an any mobile. Maybe she understood now that my fun in this game is slowly by the end. I saw no reason to send the exclusive photos to her friends. Anyway I would never do things like this. But my idea found the right point in Suzies brain to stop this terror to the people and she understood that this is only a problem between her and me. I went shopping and I bought a small teddy bear for the son of Sol. I came back in my house. Everything and everyone around was happy and I gave the small boy my present. The boy and his mother, there were not out of the garden the terror starts on my and on Sols mobile. I realised one of her agents is very near. I got messages from her cousin, that they will come here to Manila to kill this woman who makes so much pain to Suzie. Sol got the same messages. And they told me Suzie is now in the hospital because she started to bleeding... My comment was only... "Good she got her period..." But the texting terror was full running around. I tried to call Suzie to stop her cousin, but she did not pick up her phone. Sol and I did not react on the messages and I don't want to publish them here.... I don't have so much (piep) in my computer... this textes were really under every level. I found out that the agent the pregnant nanny from my direct neighbour is. I went there with my neighbour to protect me. I knocked at her door and I told her really sharp, that she put her stupid nose out of my things and that she had to stop with sending news to Suzie, and that she is by sure busy enough with her job, if not I have to speak with her boss that she get some things more to do. This woman keeps five kids, makes the complete household, cooking, washing by hand, is pregnant and had still time to play the agent for Suzie. I was really angry. This was clear and my neighbour explained her in taglish once more the reason for my visit. I was sure she understood. One problem less in the future. I did not want to scare this woman and she felt really sorry about her stupidity. OK forget about, we are living in a small place all together and there is it not good if something goes wrong. I wanted to continue to a normal peaceful life. The rest of the evening was texting with Suzie, I called her and I told her once more. If Sol will receive only one more message from her or from her cousin I will sent out the pics to her friends... I was in moment nearby to do it, really. Suzie got panic, that she can not reach her cousin and she will clear it next day, I said only "One message more and your friends will get a nice present to your birthday". Then the normal theatre, crying "don't do it blablablablabla......" But it was silent on the phone from Sol. She gave it to me that I can control. Suzie sent me in this night only some text how much she loves me and so on...rest was silent. What a day... start perfect - end, only stress. I got really tiered about all and still in doubt if I should contact Thierry to tell him the truth.
I opened my laptop and I contacted Thierry about the messenger. He was not online and I put a offline message in his box with a contact request. He should go in touch with me, if he is interested in the truth of Suzie. I went to bed and tried to sleep. How he would react?
I tried to sleep, but I was really nervous. In the morning as I was back online, I saw that Thierry cancelled my contact request and did not reply. What to do, is he really not interested in the truth? What would I do if someone send me a message like this about the women I plan to marry? I thought I would ask first the woman, what it is? If he is thinking like this, not good. Suzie will tell him her lies about me and he will believe and will never go in touch with me. I was waiting till midday. I was really nervous. No reaction. I decided I have to stop her game. I wrote a email to Thierry with all proves that he can believe me and gave him a short cut about the risk to get married with Suzie. Also a short cut of this story. Some pictures and my contact details. Now he could decide by himself what he want to do. I continued my work and I felt better. A nice birthday present for Suzie. It was January 21st. I phoned her quickly and I wished her all the best to her birthday and that all her dreams comes true. She started to tell me how she loves me and that she want to come back here and we continue our happy life together. I said I would be happy and I want to see her soon and then we will speak. The rest of this day no messages or calls from her. I was happy that it was so silent on my mobile.
Suddenly the messenger popped up and Thierry added me in his contact list. He asked me if we can speak. We had a really long long chat and he wanted from me some back proves that I really tell the truth. No problem. I only can imagine what was happen in this man in this moment. I hope he will post his story also. He was awaken and he wanted to call her directly and cancel all the plans with visa, marriage and so on. I asked him if he can keep silent for some days, because Suzie will be here in the next week and I want look in her eyes if I tell her what I know. I wanted to make a picture from the face, because not only me can look stupid. He was agree and he wanted to send out the mail to the French embassy directly and that he will stop directly to send money to her, he was sending every month money. He expect a birthday money, but this is now also cancelled. I felt really sorry for this man in this moment. This day was a good day in this game.
Next day. Thursday January 22nd. Thierry contacted me that he was talking with her on the phone and that he told her, that the papers are on the way and and that she only has to wait for the invitation from the French embassy and that she can expect that the appointment will be in one or two weeks. She told him the same then me, how she loves him, and how she missed him...I think we know the lies now........ He told me some things from his life and what he would do if he would see Suzie once more, or if he would realise the truth and she would be there. I thought... pffff... if this are his fantasies than I am happy to stop this game. I know some things are quickly said if you are angry, but my doubt about the emotional stability was not without reason. He told me some things from his sexual fantasies and I asked him if Suzie knows about. He said no... but she will learn it. I thought if Suzie really reached to come to France she will get an experience what she not expect. There goes something wrong in the moment. I tried to cool him down. Because the mail to the embassy, to stop the invitation, was still not sent out, but I believed him he will do it. I was in worry but still under control. Between the normal messages from Suzie, I did not reply. In the evening she called me and and she starts from new, that I lie to her and that I cheat her with Sol, the normal theatre and that she can not trust me and that I hurt her so much...We know it. I was really happy. Nothing changed. The good thing was, she realised this is only her and my problem and she will keep all other people out of the game. Anyway she lost one agent after the other. But she found no end. After the call she continued with her messages. I thought by myself. Now its enough. I sent her a message :"Now I tell you who is the liar and the cheater. Greetings from Thierry the wedding party is cancelled". Outside the weather was not good in this evening, a thunderstorm drew up. It was like a film. In this moment I pushed the button to send the message to Suzie, a flesh and thunder goes over the house. And really this is not a dramatic part of a story teller, it was real. I thought, now the air gets clean. A big rain started short after this. I took myself the fun to look in her face, but I wanted to finish this story. I have to find my life back. Thierry was online and I told him that the bomb is explored. The answer from Suzie "never mind".. I know her "never mind". In this moment starts something in her head. It was maybe two minutes my later, my mobile was ringing. Suzie. She asked me how she should understand my message. And I told her all what I felt since I know that she was planing her wedding party in France behind my back and that she is really the last person in the world with the right to call me as a liar or a cheater. That she switched about a small harmless chat and a smile from a girl to me, and she is planing to get married in France and this since we know us... Who is now cheating and lying? The only words she found was, I love you and she will come back and we will speak about. I said "OK.. tell me when you will arrive, then we can speak." Thierry sent me the news what happen in France. She tried to call him direct. He did not pick up the phone. Every ten minutes she tried to call in France. No answer. She tried to call me once more. But it was only one time ringing, I had no reason in the moment to call her back. This game continued the half of the night. One ring and waiting that I call her back. No way. I closed my phone and went to bed.
Friday January 23rd. Thierry told me that he spoke with her and that she was trying to reach him till 4:30 AM Philippine time. So so, Suzie got a sleepless night. She was really nervous. He told me that she was telling him exactly this stories what I expect, that I am a liar and so on.. that she loves him so much and he is the only one. She still did not changed the song. I asked him what's his plan now? He gave me an answer about teaching and education in his way. I was not really happy about and I tried to find out his idea. In my mind, his sexual fantasies. He gave me the prove that I am not on the wrong way. I saved the conversation and I sent it to Suzie at her mail address. She should know how to handle his words. Maybe was not right, but I thought I have to give her the information. Because I knew, she did not know about it. I had the feeling my job is done and the story will find his end. And all the rest now is the part of Thierry and Suzie how they will handle their life and ideas. I was not willing to go more in their discussion. All I wanted, to interrupt Suzies game with feelings and emotions was reached. The rest will show the future. I got some message from Suzie on this day, the normal things about love and missing me and that she will come back. But her most interest on this day was to know if someone else is now sleeping in our bed or is living in my house. I am still living and sleeping alone. Now since one week as she left the house. Unbelievable If I think about... it's only one week ago that she left. She told me that she is now in Cebu and that she will have a "friend" date on Saturday evening with a guy she met in a mal. In the night I was thinking about all once more and if I was right and I decide to write this story, that everyone can read it. I thought this can help me to understand all what happened in the last two months, or better in the last two weeks. Maybe she will come soon and we can speak about, but I think I will never get the truth from her.
On Saturday morning I wrote her a mail, but I did not got a answer on it. I am still in contact with Thierry and I try to keep this contact. I would like to speak with him one day in person. Maybe he will come here one day. It was on this day very quiet on my phone. Also Sunday and Monday. I think she was "busy". I did not meet her online and she did not send any message. Tuesday evening I found some missed calls on my phone from her, but it was ringing only one time always. I thought, if she want to speak with me, why I should call her back. Her last try was 1:30 AM. The same Wednesday morning 9 AM only one ring on the phone. And then every hour only one ring...
I remembered in the night one chat in this time as I was back in Spain. I told her in this time, if I come back to the Philippines I want to know the real 'Suzie'... She answered "Yes, you will"... I think this was the only truth I got from her.
It was only two weeks ago that Suzie left the house, and only since one week really quiet around my mobile and the place I live. Also no contact to Thierry, I think he is busy enough to bring his life in a good way back to the normality.
The rumours were going around that Suzie plans to come here very soon, but I did not believe. Someone told it to Sol on the street, but he only heard about from someone else and the root is untraceable. I did not care about, but I felt, she is still like a shadow over me and the house. And who knows, maybe she is standing one day here in front of me.
Sol was always around me so often she could go out of her family. In all this trouble before it happened one evening that we were sitting very near together and we started to kiss. I think she counted on it. But that was all, nothing more. I still lived and slept alone in my house and I did not want to replace the space on my side in the moment.
Sol started to love me really. I did not want to go further. It was a mistake that we kissed this day... but I can not turn back the time. A friend of mine said me. "Don't think so much, enjoy. We are living here in the girls paradise... Don't care." Hmmmm I have to think about it. In the evening I went out with my neighbour Bam and we were in a bar in Paranaque City and we had only fun. He reached it that I could forget for a while. On the way I received a message, not from Suzie, from Sol "enjoy your evening.." I thought 'oh no - not this'. Now she starts in the same way. Sorry, but I am a little bit sensitive since some weeks if a woman tell me that I should "enjoy" an evening without her. I think women doing it extra to kill a good feeling with friends without them. Maybe I got paranoia, but "enjoy" is for me the non word of the year 2008. Bam and I we had fun and we stated my birthday weekend.
On my birthday I had a meeting with Rowena Macaida in Makati and I came with new ideas and new motivation on the business side at home, between a lot of calls and messages from people they were thinking at me on this day. The planed party with the neighbours was anyway cancelled about the rumours and lies from the agents of Suzie, so I bought a bottle of cava and I enjoyed, and this now really, the evening alone on my terrace. It was a wonderful evening and I celebrated my success from the day and my birthday with me. Anyway the party with my friends was planed a day later.
January, 31. 2009. Suzie started some days before with an new game. Every hour my phone was ringing only one time. Or she sent one text how happy she is and that she enjoys her party time with a lot of Tequila with friends somewhere. This messages were going also to all my friends. She told everyone that she in the moment on Hundred Island. But it was not true... she was here in Metro Manila somewhere. We checked it about the routing points of the provider. This information is always sent with the message. She moved the last days between Makati, Pasay and Paranaque City around. She tried to be near...why this game now? All was planed for the evening and we wanted to meet the "weng-weng-girls" between 10 PM and 10:30 PM in my famous comedy bar in Marikina. By the way to the party i received a message: "wow you will have a nightmare guest today." I did not reply. I had nightmares enough and today was party on the program. We arrived the comedy bar and i received a message: "enjoy your night somewhere with your new girlfriend". In this moment was clear, she was at my house and everything was dark. I thought, 'her problem' and I closed the phone for the rest of the night.... And we had really fun this evening....
In all this party, Bam and I we came on the idea, that we start now a game with Suzie. The idea was, that I official disappear. The plan was. Bam will send her a message, that i gave him my mobile, 500 Peso for the taxi and I left the party drunk, with the words that I go now to search for Suzie and from this moment I was disappeared. All this started Sunday afternoon after a lot off missed calls and unanswered messages from Suzie. Suzie got really nervous. She sent out her agents to have a look if I am in my house or not and she believed once more only them. The agent told her that I am there with a girl or with Sol. All not true, but she believed. In the end, she was more in worry if I am maybe in the house with someone, then if something really happen. I realised in this story that I am always under control of some agents around and my wish was to go someday to the sea to think about all and to make a plan for the future. The next day I took a bus to San Fernado la Union to enjoy some days only beach and sun.
It was wonderful, alone on the beach, looking the waves, walking around and thinking about what will happen as next. I wanted to stay till Sunday, but I got a call from a company, I applied some days before, and I had to go back till Saturday. I took the bus at Friday morning back to Manila. After eight hours in the bus and a lot of traffic I arrived in the evening Manila. It was raining. After all the silent from the last days back in the Friday traffic chaos. I found the right jeepney and i was like always. A foreigner in a jip always a sensation. Some girls came in also and they started to flirt with me. They started to whisper about me and I said to them that they can talk with me direct and that they don't need to whisper only about me. They called Joy and Jane and they asked me about my number and if they can call me one day. I gave it to them, they left the jip and for me was it done with a smile in my face. Some minutes later I also left the jip to find something to eat and the tricycle at home. By the way to the trike I met the two girls once more, suddenly they were standing in front of me. We had a nice chat, but I was to tiered to spend longer time with them, because I wanted to come home. The rest of the evening I got one message after the other from the girls and they told me that they want to meet me soon and that I am so cute and that they can not forget me. What is wrong in the moment? I think I have to stop to smile. I answered them that we can meet us the next day and I wanted to clear some things that I am in the moment not interested to go in the next relation or something.
The next day I had meeting with Randy. He works in the same company I applied and he was sent out if I am the right one for this job. We like us really, he is also German and since seven years here on the Philippines. We had a good feeling to each other and the business talk changed quickly in a private chat. I think this can be funny to work and spend some time together......
It was now one month ago... only one month. I tried to forget her. It did not work. Suzie was still a poison in me. I tried to forget her. It did not work. I tried to meet other girls and women. I did not get her out of my mind. I made myself to a fool. I knew. I lost some business clients now about this story, but if they can not make the different between business and private life... Sorry then I don't need them. I tried to start now a new life, to get free of all. I got the new job now, so my staying here is secure. I cancelled the contract of my small house and I will find soon a new home but Suzie is still the shadow. I am still waiting that she explained me everything... But I have to find my way now...
The chapter with Suzie found the end. It was planed that we will meet in the beginning of march. We were in contact the whole time and in my heart and brain came the idea, maybe we have a chance once more to find back our happy time and maybe to create a happy end in this story. But I missed complete like the whole time. She wanted to change her attitude and stop her jealousy. It was planed she will come and we speak. One evening we were chatting on the mobiles and she started suddenly once more with her fantasy that I was guilty on the break, cause I was starting something with this woman, how she called always Sol. This was one time to much. I realised suddenly that there will never be a changing. Beside I started a test with a friend of mine. We wanted to know if she is really in Cebu, like she said or if she is still here in Manila. My friend sent her a message that he like to meet her. She answered very quick that he should call her and in some messages that she like to meet him soon.... I got all the messages as forward on my mobile. In the end we broke the test with an message to her and greetings from me that she failed now complete. After that she tried to call me, to call my friend, sent messages with the normal bla bla bla... After the fives call i picked up the phone and she triedd to explain, but what is there to explain? I only said to her, that this was now her last chance to repair the situation but she missed it. She will never change or understand and now it is clear I could never trust her, I tried once more, but there is no way back. I know i will never get the truth from her, she will never be so brave to write her side of the story here.....
matthias
The Truth about Suzzett
I will tell here the truth about Suzzett (or sweetgurl293, funnygurl32, shayne murphy, justlyn, justlyn cartagena, suzie, suzie cartagena or how she calls herself, this are only few of her nicknames) from the Philippines.
My name is Matthias 44 years old and I live now since November 2008 on the Philippines.
I will never speak bad about Suzie, cause I loved her one time and maybe I still love her. All I want is, to tell everyone the truth what happened to me with this woman. This is a story about love, cheating, lies, trust and mistrust, dreams, hope and helplessness. This story is not written from hate or revenge, but a story, only the life can tell. It is MY story from March 2008 till now ...... this story is not invented under 30° in the shadow in my head...... It is the truth and I can bring the prove if someone can not believe....
Read till the end and make your own thoughts about, and if you met her one time in your life, then tell me your story and we post it on this site... and Suzie... if you read this. Send me your side of the story. Maybe you tell me one time in your life the truth. Maybe then I can understand......
HOW WE MET:
It was in march 2008 I was working in the night in a hotel in Spain, by daytime in an office for marketing research, my relation was broken after 5 years, I was thinking about my life and that I have to change something. One day suddenly I came on the idea, why not to go to the Philippines, to have some rest and maybe if I like it there I stay. I started to get information about the land, the people and how it is. I did not want to make the same mistake like before as I relocated from Germany to Spain, only to show up and then we will see, no I wanted to know more before. I came on the idea, better to speak with the people direct, they can tell me their life and I get some real views. It was never in my idea to search for a woman or relationship, but I opened an account in Date in Asia. I only want to spend my time in the night and to talk with some people. It was unbelievable how many messages I got always when I was online. The most of them only with "hi", "hello" or "how are you"... I deleted them all. Only some of the messages shows, that the women, or girl read my profile till the end and I answered. Some days I had a nice talk with a girl named Arlene, and we were talking about cheating in websites and that I have to be careful with some girls there, but she can introduce me to her girlfriend Suzie, cause she knows much more about. She gave me her Yahoo-ID and I contacted her.
We had unbelievable funny chats about months and we got really good online friends. It was always interesting, amusing and she explained me a lot of things how it works on the Philippines. She never asked for money and I started to trust her. I had no reason not to do. We were friends. She told me all about her life, her family, her work, about her dreams, her goals and all about friends are talking. I told her from my life, about my ideas and that I plan to come soon to the Philippines to visit the country, and that I plan to change my life and, if it's nice there, I don't have a problem to relocate to the Philippines. New country, new people, new experiences. This was my need in this time.
I had also some nice and interesting chats with some other girls and women and I made some really good friends. As well I made some good business contacts in Xing, cause I wanted to plan my future in this time in Manila and not only holiday.
It was June, my idea to go for a while to the Philippines got stronger and anyway my contract in the hotel runs out. I decided not to renew the contract and to go there. I planed how to manage all with my apartment and the daily things in Spain. Beginning of August everything was clear, I rented out my apartment to a friend and I booked the tickets. In this time I met online Ning. We also got friends and as I told her I will come and I need an apartment for some weeks, she started to organise my new basic in Manila. I only had to tell her when I will be there and she will pick me up from the airport.
PHILIPPINES PART 1
End of August 2008. Ning picked me up from the airport and I was in Manila. The first evening we visit a comedy bar, near the place of Ning, cause I wanted to try "Weng Weng". A cocktail, I heard before, and I wanted to try. This was the first "Weng Weng-Patry" of many. Also some friends of Ning where there, later I called them the "weng-weng-girls". I had a perfect entrance to the Philippines.
The first days, I was under control of Ning and she gave me an perfect view of the city and I started to meet my business contacts and to find my own way in this city. I bought a map to conquer this 11 Mio people chaos.
The contact to Suzie in this time was a little bit sleeping, I didn't met her online for a while so I couldn't tell her that I am in Manila. One evening I saw her online in the messenger and I told her that I am here. First she didn't believe me, but we made an appointment to meet for a coffee. She asked where I am living and she told me that she will pick me up. OK, a little bit unusual to make the first personal meeting in my apartment, but never mind. I knew that never something can happen, and she came.
I didn't want to stay with her in my apartment, because I felt that she felt a bit uneasy. We went in Starbucks around the corner. How it is sometimes, the first meeting is mostly not so good, and we didn't find really a topic to speak. I thought, OK, online nice and funny, real life nothing to say. We had our coffee we exchanged our mobile numbers. I went back in my apartment and she went at home. I thought, that's it, was nice not to talk and we will never met again.
Some days later, I was on the way to Manila City, my mobile was ringing and Suzie was in the line. She asked me where I am and what I am doing today. I told her my plans and she said she is nearby the place where I wanted to go and if we will meet us. I said 'OK', I don't need to spend my time alone and maybe she can show me some interesting places. We met us in one of this mals and then we had a walk in one of this parks.
She wanted to show me the biggest Mal in Manila and we made a trip with the jeepney to the Mal of Asia (MOA). The first time that I drove with such a thing. But this is one of the possibilities to come from one place to the other in this chaos of traffic. All passengers where locking at me like an alien, cause it is not usual, that foreigners driving with a jip. the most tourist or foreigners are using taxis, but I wanted to live normal then everyone here, so I drive with jips and tricycles like everyone. It was a really nice day and we found also our topics to speak. We were around like friends. On this day was nothing in my mind about relationship or affair.
Also on this day, Suzie went home and I went back in my apartment. In the evening we met us online and we decided that we will meet us the next day and that she want to come to me. Next day in the afternoon she came to me and we had a nice dinner in one of this fast food restaurants here. It is difficult to find here a good restaurant. But she wanted to go there, OK. It got late and she remained in my apartment. I am not the type who's using such situations and I can sleep in one bed without touching. I am waiting always for the right sign, and it didn't come. We woke up in the morning hand in hand, but nothing more. She was laying in my bed, watching tv and I was working on my laptop.
As I came out of the shower, suddenly we started to kiss and I think the rest is not necessary to tell in the detail. Only, the first time is sometimes also not perfect
. She asked me if she can stay one night longer and from this day Suzie was in my life.
I was not prepared for a relationship. I was honest to her that I still not finish with my ex girlfriend in Spain and that this is not my time for a new love. She told me she feels the same with her ex boyfriend in the time as she was in South Korea, who hurt her so much and that I am the first man after three years.... and it is OK for her that I think like this.
Next day, I had a business meeting in Makati and Suzie asked me if she can use my laptop in this time to check her mails. No problem, I have nothing to hide, I left the apartment and meet the people. I told her, please don't make downloads or such things on my lap. Next day she wanted to go back to her place and I also wanted to sleep one night alone. I was sitting on this day on my computer and I received some documents from a client per mail. I downloaded them and I found in my download folder a zip-file. I was sure. This was not from me. I opened this file and I was sitting minimum 10 minutes with open mouth in front of my laptop. In this folder I found really hot pics from Suzie with an other guy...... I don 't want make this pics public, for this is here no place.... This pics were from beginning of august.... I thought, three years are longer then a few weeks, but ok, not my thing what she was doing before we met us and anyway, we are not married. But I wanted to know the truth about, cause she told me I am the first man since three years... One thing I hate, lies!!! It doesn't matter what was or what someone is doing, but if I ask, then I want to know the truth. In the evening I met her online in the messenger and I told her, I want to show her something and if she can open her web cam. She opened and we made photo exchange... I sent one of the pics I found, and she was nearby falling from her chair. She closed her cam directly... I was smiling. She told me, this was with an Italian guy she met and she didn't want to tell me about, cause she was afraid that I loose my interest in her or that I am thinking bad about her... (such a nonsense) and this guy was bad to her and he cheated her and so on... I thought OK... and I told her, that she should tell me better always the truth before I found out things and I have to ask... This was clear and everything was OK for me. I kept this folder, I don't know why, but it was good.
We were living in my apartment like a normal couple. I introduced her to my "weng-weng-girls" to the next party and I thought it is a good idea. all what she did on this evening, she was playing with her mobile and was absolutely not interested in the people or in the party. Ning and her friends asked me, what is it, they tried to talk to her, but she was still playing with her phone. I felt really uncomfortable and I went home with her. I asked her why she can not have fun, but I didn't get a clear answer. Ning asked me one day, why I am with her together, and that she is not really the right girl for me. But I was on Suzie's side and my "weng-weng-girls" accepted my decision.
All was fine, but one day I had the feeling I have to be a little bit alone and I asked Suzie if she can go some days to her home. It was only that I can have some nights alone, nothing more. She understood it like, I kick her out on the street and that I never wanted to see her. She misunderstood complete and she left the apartment under anger and said she will never see me again and so on. I said OK if you can not understand, that I need sometimes my time only for me, I have to accept it. She went home and was really angry about me with still the film in the head I kicked her out of the house... By the way to her home she sent me one SMS after the other, why I hurt her so much, why I kicked her out and so on... It cost me really nerves to bring her down from this trip. She continued also in the messenger like this, she didn't want to understand that I only wanted to sleep one night alone. She never wanted to see me, I spent my time with friends and for me it was done. But... some days later she called me, we met us and and she understood. Pffffffff. Hard work. Why I did it? I don't know.
I renewed my visa to stay longer and it was more or less quiet in our "relation". It was middle of September and the trouble starts in Spain. The friend left my apartment there without telling me and my money didn't receive on my account. As well, I got a message from my ex girlfriend that she thinks it was her biggest mistake to cancel the relationship. Now I was in trouble. Mixed emotions in the love life, money pending and Suzie. All crashed in Spain, here all wonderful. I tried to fix it from Manila, but in the end it was clear I have to go back to Spain so soon as possible. I called one of my best friend if he can send me money till I am back in Spain and some days later I could book my fly back. It was not in my plan, but there was no other possibility. I was sad, I felt there is something starting in my heart.
My last weekend I spend with a business partner on Mindoro, because we planed to work some things out and we had to visit some resorts. We were in Franklyn Resort in Puerto Galera, a wonderful quiet place. Normally a place for people in love.... I missed Suzie.
We spend the last day together, I bought some presents, but I was sad, because it was not really clear if I can come back in the same year. We didn't say goodbye on this day. She gave me a kiss and turned around, without any look back. I was standing there like lost.
The last evening I spend with my "weng-weng-girls" in the comedy bar from the first day and I got a great exit through the same door I showed up.
The fly back was long, expensive but quiet, only my memories were working. After 30 hours I was.....
.....BACK IN SPAIN
The first evening I met my ex girlfriend and the evening ended up in old argues about our past relationship. I was guilty in all and that she is so happy with her new boyfriend. I presented her the chain from black pearls, I bought for her in Manila, and I left the place drunk. It was clear in this case is no way back. The next days I was busy to clean out all the problems and I met my old friends in my famous bar. I had a lot to tell, but I felt very soon, this is not my place any more. It was like holiday, everything quiet like Sunday, fresh air. No traffic chaos, noise or smog like the last six weeks in Manila. Nearby everyday I met Suzie in the messenger or I called her. I realized I have to go back as soon as possible. She told me she missed me so much and that she always remembers the funny time we spend together, and as well the nights... we started to plan our future. One day she told me, that her biggest wish is a child from me. BUM... honest, I was on one side happy to hear such things, on the other side in shock, because a child is not only a thing what quickly produced. For me, a child is a decision and a responsibility for the life. And I am not really hot to reproduce myself... I think I am not so important. Any way.. she is mother from a five years old boy, who lives with her sister in Bacolod. I said to her, let's see if I am back, let's find a nice place for us and your boy and with the time we can try to make the family bigger, if you really want it. In all this talks she told me that she planes to go to France for one month to visit her cousin and that she will come back and we start our life. OK. It was not sure when I can come back to the Philippines and I said to her lets see, and foreign experiences are always good for the life. If I will come earlier, then I will wait for her, till she is back from France. My plan was to spend Christmas and New Year on the Philippines with her, and if she really wants to go to France in March, I will wait. I was in love, I had my goal for the future, I only needed to fix the things in Europe, to catch some money and to book the tickets.
I told her give me some months and I will be back and then I want to know the real Suzie. I think she didn't believe me. I organized everything, I found someone who bought all my things, I made some small deals and I sent my absolute private things back to Germany. Middle of October I cleared all out and I bought the tickets first to Germany, because I wanted to visit my family and to clear the things there. Then I was sitting in the air plane, only with my bag and my laptop.
All the time Suzie and I we were in contact, messenger, web cam, phone and I was sure in her love to me. She was in this time by her son and then back in Manila. What I know today... I am not so sure if it was true, but in this time I had no doubt.....
PHILIPPINES PART 2
My flight was Frankfurt-Amsterdam non stop Manila. Suzie picked me up from the airport with her sister. One of her relatives who is always asking for money. We checked in in Townhouse Manila. A small backpacker hotel. Not the big luxury, but ok. It was not planed to stay there very long, because we wanted to search for a place to build our new home together. We ended up directly there where people in love are going after such a long time missing the hugs, the kisses and so on. The sister was waiting in the lobby and after a while we went all together to the Mal of Asia to have something to eat. The most of all was eating her fat sister. Suzie and I only a small snack... We sent the sister at home and we spend the rest of the day in our small room. The following days we spend with fun in the city, in mals and we were happy in love.
But also the normal life had to continue and I spend everyday some hours for my work on the computer. After all before, and Suzies endless time with her mobile we decided before that I reduce my online time and she her endless sending of messages and playing with her phone. We had it under control. I was mostly working in the morning when Suzie still was sleeps and in the evening when she was using the computer from the hotel. I knew she has a lot of chat mates, why not? We all have our friends and she was with me. Why to control what she is doing. Every morning I brought her the coffee in the bed and then we planed the rest of the day. Some days we were spending the hole day in the bed, like people in love are doing. I knew that she gets some money from somewhere, she told me old friends in Korea are still owning her money and some chat mates sending her without asking... why not... why to control, it is not my case. She never asked me about my money and any way I paid our daily life. She sent sometimes some money to her son, but this was clear, that she has to cover him.
Sometimes we took a bus and we drove out of the big city, out of the noise and smog. We went to Tagaytay, a wonderful place for enjoying the time.
One Sunday we visited friends from Suzie in Bataan. Good friends from South Korea are living there and we spent the hole day around with our private trike driver. In all the time she only checked short her mobile, the rest was only she and me. Not like before, only the nose on the phone.. We enjoyed really.
With the time we had to go out of the hotel. We were sitting long time together and we were thinking about to go somewhere on an island or if we try to find something in one of the 17 cities of Metro Manila. In the end, the decision was Metro Manila. She called some friends and we were looking around. In the neighborhood of some friends was a small free house in yellow color. (I was not thinking about the meaning of the color in this moment). Not big but for two people in love, right. I asked her if she will be sure to go there, because in such a familiar surrounding field quickly rumors will be going around and she has to know how to handle it. I would be the only foreigner in this area and everyone will have a look at us and they will starting to speak if I talk with someone. And she knew, if I live in such an area, I want to go in touch with the people and not to live like something different. I wanted to be a part of the community. For her no problem and we rented the house in Paranaque City.
On December 19th we went in. We were really welcome there. Everything was funny, happy and we started to organise the new home. I organized the internet connection, because I need it everyday. And Suzie was also tired to walk always in the internet shop. It was Christmas time and everyone was crazy about. Christmas on the Philippines is party everywhere. In the evenings I was mostly with my new neighbors in front of the house and we were chatting about the life. Suzie in this time mostly in front of the TV or online. She could use my Laptop in this time, because I still don't have something to hide. And I would never come on the idea to control my partner what she is doing on my computer. For me is trust the basic of love. I had my fun with the neighbors and she online. I was a little bit sad, that she was not really interested in the people around, but it was her thing. I saw her more and more starting playing with her mobile. I was only angry about if we were shopping and discussing what kind of cooking thing we should by, or at the cash point to put the things on the band and she was only texting in her mobile. This were the moments as I said something about, that she please put her plaything in her pocket. She could really standing in the middle of the shop between the Christmas shopping chaos and texting... What can be so important?
From morning till the night was everywhere party. Not like in Europe silent, no, techno-beat and karaoke sing sang everywhere. What to do.. to get crazy or to buy a box of beer and to show up in the party. I decided buy myself better party then crazy. I asked her if she want to go with me, but she wanted to stay at home. I bought a box of beer and went to the neighbors opposite the street.
I met there Sol. Sol is a housekeeper from one of our neighbors beside. A nice cute 22 years old girl. We were sometimes chatting with the other people around in front our house. Harmless chats between neighbors. Suzie and Sol were sitting sometimes in front of our house and were chatting also. They liked each other.
In the middle of the party someone came to me and told me that Suzie is standing in front of the gate and is watching at me. I asked him, why she is not coming in? I went out and asked her and tried to bring her in the party. The best possibility to show us as couple. but she preferred to go back in the house. Why she did not come in the party? She made herself to a fool in this moment. I finished my beer and went back in the house. I asked her if I made something wrong. The only answer I got was "nothing - enjoy". I said "OK", went to bed and after a while, as here daily soaps were finish in the TV, she came also. Rest was hugging and so on.. outside techno-party. There was no possibility to sleep, so we spend the time with love. This was always great. She loved it and there were not so many days without. She could not keep her fingers on her side.
On December 26th the Christmas party of the community stars in front of the house. All neighbors in the street came together and we could meet all in one place. This was the first day that we showed up as a real couple and everyone knew that she is my girlfriend and I am her boyfriend. I wanted to make it clear, that no one comes on the idea to start with rumours. To send out a sign that we are inseparable and there is no way to interrupt this relationship. Everyone who asked me how we met us and so on, I told how much I love her and what kind of wonderful woman she is.
The rest of the week was quiet and we were mostly at home. Suzie busy with her mobiles and soaps and I organized the rest. Sometimes we drove in the city, were sitting at the Manila Bay and enjoyed the rest of the year. We planed to go to the big New Years Party in Malate, but it was raining the hole day and we saw in the news the traffic chaos around. And from Paranaque City to Manila in this chaos needs hours and to get late in the night a taxi, nearby not possible. Weather bad, a lot of traffic, we decided to stay at home, anyway our neighbors opposite invited us to their party in the evening. We showed there up around 10 PM and they treated us like super stars. Extra table, extra food, always someone was caring about us that everything is ok. For me difficult, because I wanted to be a part and not something special. Suzie enjoyed and it was one rare evenings outside that she had really fun with other people.
The start in the new year was relaxed and easy. Suzie liked it to keep the house, washing clothes. I told her, lets bring the clothes in to the laundry, but she wanted to sit in the bath and washed all clothes with the hands. I felt not pleasant to see it, but I could not stop her. I was working on my computer and of course I realized that Sol, our neighbor girl, is always watching at me and that she is always smiling to me. I did not imagine anything thereby, because in this country nearby everyone is always smiling. And she is cute, and a nice smile is a good feeling any way. I met her sometimes in the evening with the other people to chat at the small shop and Suzie was more and more busy in the evening with her chats in the internet. I told Suzie that I like Sol as a person and its always funny to have a small chat outside. Her answer was, yes she has an sexy ass.
Suzie had her fun, I had my fun and everything seemed in order. Sometimes we were sitting together and we were amused about some guys they tried to flirt with her or offered money for naked pics. She always kicked them out of the line, and I didn't care about, because I still trusted her and I thought... Let her the flirts... She is here and she loves me. I have no problem if someone is flirting with my girlfriend. They have something to dream and in my arms she will awake in the morning. I am not jealous if I don't have a prove that something goes wrong.
All the time since we were together the topic about her trip to France comes out. But in this time more and more. Always when I asked her about, the story was in small points different. First it was planed to visit a girlfriend and her husband and that she can work there for one month in a hotel as an receptionist. Logic. They need there someone from the Philippines without any knowledge of French. The next time she planes to visit her cousin for two months only for holiday and to learn something about the country. An other day it was for four months to keep the children of the cousin, cause they want to go for an business trip to USA. For her time she spend there, they want to give her the money that she can start her business and to take her son on her side. She told our neighbor she will go to France as an shop assistant in a jewelery and she will try to bring her there also. The only similar thing in all variations was only the city. The trip should go to Belfort.
One Friday, Sol asked me if I can borrow her my small camera, because she will go with the family of her boss to Tagaytay. I gave her the camera and everything seemed normal. I told it to Suzie and she asked me, why she didn't asked her before. I said: "Why she should do it? It's my camera and why to ask you, that you can ask me and I say to you 'yes' and you give it to her. This is complicated. She is our neighbor she asked me and everything is ok." What I got was, a long face and she started to play with her mobile.
It was Sunday, January 11th. I had an business appointment in Makati and I left the house 1pm. I didn't know that this day was the off day of Sol. From where I should know it? In the taxi to Makati I called Sol, if everything was ok with the camera and if she can bring it to Suzie. I don't know why I was thinking on it in this moment. I did not see her in the morning, that's why I called her. It was out of my mind and I was in the meeting with some people. I received a message from Suzie "enjoy your day with your new girlfriend". I thought what's happens now? No new girlfriend around, only business and a text like this. I went to the cleaning room and called Suzie and asked her: "What is wrong? I am here in Makati and you are thinking that I am together with an other girl? I have really other things in my head then to think on an other girl or girls or however!" She only said: " I know it and I love you so much." But still every half an hour a text with stupid comments like "enjoy your time" and so on. I didn't react on it, anyway I asked her before if she want to come with me to this meeting, but she preferred to stay at home. It got late and I passed by in an shop from our internet provider, because of a technical problem and then I took a taxi at home. Suzie was sitting with some people in front of the small shop and drank some beer. Not normal for her. She don't like to drink. I took also a beer and was sitting with all outside. She took my mobile, she used it sometimes if her load on her phones were empty and she went into the neighbors house. Between, Sol arrived with a taxi from her off day and went directly at home. Our neighbor came out of his house and told me that Suzie is sitting in his house and crying, that I cheat her and that I called Sol and that I dated her and so on. Shortly thereafter Suzie showed up and ordered me in our small home and started crying, shouting, that I dated Sol today and that I called her before and threw my mobile against the wall. First I was listening, smiling and tried to wait till the storm is over. Inside I was amused and I didn't understood the theater. As I had the possibility to speak I explained her why I called her and that I was in Makati, and from where I should know that Sol has her off day on this Sunday. If I have something to hide, I would delete the number out of my memory and no one would realize something. I programmed Sols number with Mira, because her full name is Mirasol and my bank in Spain is programmed with "Sol", because it is the "Solbank". For me logic, anyway its my phone and I can program there what and how I want. What she had to search in my address book of my phone or in my memory? Before, she texted to Sol with my phone really bad things. I don't want to repeat the words, because this would be in every film under 18 years with a "piep" over-sounded. Suzie didn't believe me. All the neighbours were listen this theater. The women came in our house and they tried to bring her down. I decided, better to drink a beer and smoke a cigarette, because I did nothing wrong. I thought about to give her the number of the business people, but can you imagine? What is more embarrassingly than this, if she really would call them? In the end it was discussion till 3AM till I could go to sleep.
From one day to the other Sol was her hate object and this without any proved reason. To bring some silent in this situation, the neighbors and I organized a silent talk between this two women. The only comment from Suzie was, if she will realize that Sol will speak with me one time, then she will put her face against the wall !!!! I told her this is not the way. we are living here in a small area. Sol is working there, I am moving here also and in this case its normal that we will speak sometimes. Where is the problem? And if Sol really is falling in love with me, what Suzie imagined, there are always two parts included that an affair will start. Anyway, no one in the world can give me the order with whom I am allowed to speak or not. The small cute Sol was so afraid that she didn't leave the house without watching that Suzie is not around.
The "chicken war" was open. First I was really amused about all the theater. It was new for me, that someone starts to fight like this about me. Especially without any reason, only that maybe someone is a little bit falling in love with me, and someone else Suzie something whispered in the ear, that I am always be so sweet to this girl. Really, there was nothing more than some harmless talks and always someone around. How you want to be "sweet" to someone? I am not so stupid and start in such a small area an affair with the girl from the neighborhood. I wanted to live silent with Suzie and everyone knew I love her. So why Suzie got so jealous about her? No prove, no reason and she was flirting every evening with some guys all around the world. I think I could have more reason to be jealous.
The next day was more or less silent buy daytime. Sol was afraid to go out of the house, I didn't saw her. Suzie normal by chatting on her mobile. The sun was shining, but a big shadow over our relationship and our new home. Everything seemed different. The easy feeling was over. In the evening I saw Sol. I went to her and said it can not be that someone runs around and tells us with whom we are speaking or not. I was ashamed about the reaction of Suzie and I said sorry to her. In this moment Suzie runs out of the house saw us, and the theater starts from new. Sol flees in the house from our neighbors and they closed the door. Suzie like a kamikaze behind her, without knocking at the door into neighbors house and stated to fight in front of the neighbors kid. In this moment my patience was over. I took Suzie out of this house in our place, closed the door and explained her, honestly, it was not friendly, that this is now really to much. Not like this. There is always a civilized way to fix the things and we are all grown up people in a small community and such terror will never find a place in my life. I never was so ashamed about a partner like in this moment. I never expect that my partner will do things like this, especially without reason. And that I expect now from her that she is going to Sol with a big sorry, also to the neighbors that she was fighting in front of the small boy in their home, otherwise I don't see any future with her here and in my life. I was more than disappointed about such a reaction. She wanted to send an message to the neighbors (it is not 20m from our house). I said: "This can not be that you want to fix it now with a message? Go there and speak with the people and by the way, go to Sol and do the same." She said:" Never in my life to this piep, piep, piep, piep, piep, and so on and on and on!!!! She promised me that she will never speak with you, and what she did? This piep, piep, piep and so on and on and on." I said to her:" It was me, who was speaking with, her not she with me. If you want to fight, then fight with me, I only said sorry to her about you, because I feel really ashamed about what you are doing here." I reached it that she was going to the neighbours, but nothing more. I felt disappointed, offended, angry, sad and helpless. All in one. After a while she came back and told me: "If you don't stop to speak with this girl, then I pack my things and I am away." A small world broke down in this moment in my heart. I said:" Then do it, but do it now!" I Ieft the house, took a beer at the small shop and walked around the area. I couldn't believe what was happen. And still I don't understand it. As I came back, she was by packing, I went up in our bed, took my laptop with me, my headset and I was listen music. In this night she was sleeping downstairs on the sofa. The first night without her on my side since I was back here. After a while I tried to sleep, but she was laying on the sofa, and was playing with her mobile, she got it some days before as a present from a chat mate in England, she said, and was listen the music I uploaded as she got it some days before... without earphones. My only comment was:" If you don't stop this shit now, or if you don't take the earphones, I kick this thing out on the street." It was silent a while, I tried to sleep, but she opened the TV...... It was a sleepless night.
In the next morning I made my coffee and for her also, like every morning since we were together and I was sitting like every morning an our terrace with my coffee and my laptop and checked my emails. The only different was, Suzie was continuing to pack her things. Her phone was ringing and she spoke extra loud to a guy, I think one of her chat lover, that 'she is so sad, because her ex boyfriend cheated her with the neighbour girl and hurt her so much and that he kicked her out of the house now and that she has to find a way to fly at home to her son to Bacolod.' I was outside near by exploring... I really needed all my control, that I don't stop this call. And all this in the morning 7AM after a sleepless night. I realized it some days before that always in the morning her phone was ringing and I asked one time, what kind of idiot is calling you in this time... I got no answer.
To take a little the wind out of the situation, I asked her if we should go to the basketball field to play speed badminton, this is a sport between squash, tennis and badminton. I brought it with me from Spain. We always were playing in the morning one or two hours and we had normally really fun with it. My idea was to talk with her outside in an easy way, to find a solution for this small problem, because she still had no reason to be jealous. We were playing a while and we had really fun. We used the complete field and we were sweating like hell. In the break I asked her if she really want to cancel all we started only about a small girl who's looking at me? Why she made such a drama out of it, its makes no idea? I don't look at her and why she can not trust me and believe that there is nothing more then a harmless talk between other people and that I am still not guilty, that this girl on the same day outside the area was, then I in my meeting. I told her that she is my woman on my side and that I really love her. I thought if I speak with her in silent and if I explain her silent that there is no reason to be jealous, that she maybe lined up enough to say sorry to Sol and we can be easy living in this small area. But no way. Only if I her promise never to speak to this piep, piep, piep any word.... I felt helpless. We tried to continue to play, but I was so angry that I shot her the speeders around her head.... She lost the mood to play with me and we went at home.
After this conversation I saw no way out of this problem and I could not imagine how I can plan a future with someone who is so jealous and so uncivilized to start a fight without reason. And how to plan a future with someone who can not trust and believe? I was thinking to go with her on an other place, but there will start the same drama with an other girl who is maybe looking at me... A never ending story.....
She took a shower and left the house to go to a travel agency to buy her ticket and and a suit-case for her clothes she bought in this time, or I presented her. I used this time to install the WIFI modem in the neighbours house to change my thoughts. After a while she came back, asked me if she can use my laptop and was sitting on the terrace to check her mails or whatever. As I was finish with my job, she was packing her things in her new suit-case and told me that her flight will go on Friday. I asked her: "And were you want to stay so long?""Here," she said. I answered:"No way. If you want to cancel all, then do it now.""Please, Please let me stay, I love you so much" with tears in her eyes. Tears from women are working always... I can not be so hard to kick someone I love out of the house. I went on my computer and tried to work. I opened the browser and her mail account was still open. I told her so often:"If you are finish with your things, close your accounts. If you do it in a internet shop, everyone can read your mails..." Normally I closed it always because it's not my thing to spy behind my partner, but on this day I found a list from mails, always from one guy. Some days before I realised that she was in folders in my computer she don't need for her chatting game with the guys. She was in folders where my private things are archived. I have nothing to hide and anyway she can not read German, but this are folders where her nose is on the wrong place. And if she was spying in my phone and folders, then I can have also one time a look.
I opened one mail from this guy and I found the truth about France. The attachment was the requesting form to get married what she should sign for the French embassy to open the visa. I was in shock.... what to do? I copied the mail with the description how to fill out. This mail was from December 16th 2008. Three days before we went in in our house. Also I found a mail from her that she sent this document to this guy, only signed, and he should fill it out. This was beginning of January and that she missed him so much and that she can not wait longer and she loves him so much and so on and on... I found some other mails from him and a picture. I remembered the zip-file she downloaded in August, as I was the first time here, on my laptop. It was this "Italien" guy she told me.. No, it was her future husband in France. She planed all the time to get married and told me that she loves me and plans with me our future.... and this since we know us personally.... and then to make a drama, only a girl is looking at me? She lied to me since we know us...!!!!!
I closed her mailbox, my computer and I was looking really stupid. I could not believe. Suzie was laying in the bed and was sleeping. I trusted her more then 100% and then such a truth.... Well. It needs really a long time that I switch totally out of my control. I was nearby, but so more heavy a story, so more silent I am and my brain starts to work. And this was really heavy. Never react directly, breathe and think. My force-potential is not very high. And how I said to Suzie, there is nothing in the world what can not fixed out civilized. To go up and kill her? Not a good idea. Anyway she is still two days here.
I took a beer, a cigarette and I was tiered, because after a sleepless night and such a news it was not possible to think about clever things to do. I could not sleep. I was laying on the sofa two meters under her and I was watching the fan on the top. What was the reason that I found it? Maybe she wanted to give me a sign and it was planed from her that the mailbox was open? But I asked her so often about France, why she did not told me? I started to smile and I thought, not bad my girl. You are a really good actress. Suddenly I understood why she always had money if she had a need. She was working the hole time on my laptop and got paid from guys around the world. But why to go to marry in France? OK, I know it's not easy to travel with a Philippine passport. Maybe she plans her big deal. To get married, to take all out and an European passport, get divorced and with enough money back to the Philippines to start her own thing. Also not logic. Better to sit on the sun and get the money like now about chatting and telling sad stories. All this things what she told me over month how this "bad" girls are working in the date lines. She was always talking about herself. Between, she met sometimes one of her chat mates, like me, and this guys, like me, finance the daily life... rest is profit... note bad baby. Mostly living in nice resorts or hotels, with the sureness the guy is away in maximum three weeks. Sexual satisfied with alternation. Really professional.... and then to make such a drama about a girl with an nice smile who's looking at her actual boyfriend... All this was running in my head. I didn't find the logic in this game. She told me one day that she did not expect that I will come really so soon back to the Philippines, but if I was here, why she did not cancelled the show with France? As opportunity if something goes wrong with me? Maybe... then she can use her ticket now. But why this drama here? Why not easy?... "sorry Matthias, I expect it different..goodbye"... why this theatre and fighting with this girl? .... once more not logic.
Suzie disturbed me in my thought with a message on my mobile. Why she text me if she is laying two meters up in the bed? She texted one of her standard lies:"She loves me so much..." and so on. I said to her:" If you want to speak with me, it's better you come downstairs as this stupid game with your mobile, I know this is the only thing you love, but I am the reality." She came down and she asked me if she can sleep in the last night in our bed, because on the sofa she can not. Right, this sofa is not really to sleep. I tried it one time, after a half a hour, everything pains. I asked her if she thinks that's a good idea. And I told her, that I am buy sure not be willing to sleep on this sofa. I said: "Let's see", and I changed the topic. I wanted to know the truth from her, I did not want to tell her what I found. I built her a bridge to tell me easy the truth about France and all her plans. First she told me how much she loves me and that she will come back and that she needs only holiday with her son and to fix all the problems with her family. She never told me really the problem with her family, all informations about was only that they asked her always for money, that they are lazy and that they make pressure to her, only that they are keeping her son. But they don't care right for her son and spending the most of the money for themselves. After I met her sister, I could imagine.
We were talking long time and Suzie told me always that she loves me so much and that she will come back and we are starting new. I told her if she really loves me, why she don't cancel the flight and stays here and we plan how we go together somewhere and starting new. I could not go with her direct to her island, because she did not want, that her family knows that she is together with a foreigner. Because then it will never stop that they ask about money. She wanted to fix the problem there alone, then to come back to Manila for the interview in the French embassy, she still kept her story with the help to her cousin in France, and then to come back and we start our new life. I told her, I am not sure if I want to wait so long on her, because maybe she will never come back and will meet there one of her chat mates and will stay there. Her answer: "Are you crazy?" I think, more open a door can not be to tell me the truth. But she did not. I thought, why to tell her now what I know. To the appointment for the interview is along time and as well, till the flight goes to France is also a lot of time, let her fix the problems with her family, maybe she will sit somewhere there on the beach and she thinks about what was happen here and we will have the chance to speak if she is back in Manila in some weeks for her appointment. Maybe she changed her mind and her idea. I was sad, that she didn't take the chance to tell me the truth. One sign more that she don't trust me. I was not sure if I can, or if I want to life with such lies in the background. Maybe it's better she is going for a while and then we will see. I was tiered to start the next drama. So, I decide to say nothing more about France and her plans to get married very soon with this guy. I only said to her that I am sad about how our funny and happy time ends, but I will always remember how happy we were in the last two months.
As we went to bed, I was laying on my side, she on her. We both could not sleep. We did not speak, we were laying both with open eyes side by side. I was not in the mood to start to touch her or so... that's not my thing. I was laying there and was waiting till it gets 5AM and the taxi to the airport will come. She came on my side and started to kiss me. I said: " I think this is not the moment to do such things..." But she kissed my doubt and tears away... She knew how to catch me. She always told me how much she will miss me and her favourite plaything, I mean in this moment not her mobile, and how much she loves me and she will come back so soon as possible and then we start new. The next two hours I could not think about all the stupid situations, all my sadness and all the shit. This was the last time that I was not thinking about this story.
We were sleeping a little bit and two hours before her taxi was ordered we stood up. She was packing the rest of her things and I was sitting on the sofa and all the memories showing up in my head. I was sad, disappointed and all the mixed emotion were coming up. I still was thinking if I should tell her what I know. As she was finish with her things to pack, she came to me on the sofa, was laying in my arms and we were sitting one hour like this to wait for her taxi. Sometimes a hour can be very long. I did not want to go with her to the airport. I hate partings like this.. and I don't want standing stupid with tears in my eyes on the airport. I think this moments are so finally. And I tried to tell me always... she will go only in holiday. I lied to myself. I still don't know why I did it... but i could not believe what I know and I don't want to believe that it should be maybe over forever.
The taxi came, I brought her suit-case to the car, she took her small bag with her mobiles and the mp3 player, I present to her one day. I put her our songs on it. She likes "The Eagles" like me, we always were listen "Desperado" or "Hotel California"... I should put the textes here... Why can songs be so true? She opened the door from the taxi, gave the taxi driver some advices, gave me a kiss turned around, closed the door and was away... without one look back. The same goodbye like the first time before I was flying back to Spain last year.... And once more. I was standing like lost on the street.
Normally the story was over on this point... The rest maybe in some weeks. But I missed totally....
The rest of the night, I was sitting on my terrace and was thinking about what to do as next. I decided to go out in the evening to meet a friend in Malate, to have some drinks and then I will see.
I got a message: "babe thank u so much for all the tym u spend for me but now im here now in the airport.i love" (original text) In the following time we taxted till Suzie had to switch off her phone in air plane. She told me how much she will miss me and also that she met on the airport an Canadian guy and that she is happy now, cause this guy make her laugh....... and once more a cold shower... I closed my phone. I was really tiered about her lies. I met Sol at the fence to our neighbours and I told her that Suzie left the house in the night and that I am really sorry for all the situation and that I am still ashamed what Suzie did to her. She told me that she planes to visit her brother in the hospital over the weekend and that she will use this time to think about other things. I told her that I plan to go out in the evening and doing the same. I went back to my computer and she to her work in her family. I did not see her the hole day. I was working some things out to come on other thoughts but I did not open the files, I saved one day before, once more on this day. Some hours later I got a message from Suzie "babe im here now in bocolod" and some other messages about I should take care about me, I am so important for her and that she miss me and she loves me so much ... same story like always. Then she sent me a message that she saw the nice ocean there and the weather is so nice and that she will look for a nice place for us.... My nerves and my thoughts were dancing samba... I wanted to come on other thoughts and she texted always such things... I wrote her that she should think about all and enjoy the time there... She texted back:"Yes I will and u2 enjoy ur lyf there with someone"... She could not stop with her film that I have an affair with Sol or with someone... After a while she texted that the music, I uploaded on her phone and mp3 player, is so wonderful and she will always remember me and that she is thinking about a plan on the ocean with me there... this runs over hours till she arrived at the place of her family. I did not reply to all this messages... any way I hate it. Why not to call, everything is said in two minutes and then to continue with other things. Its cheaper, saved time.. why not easy. It's an illness here on the Philippines. Everyone is texting the hole day, everywhere, always...makes you crazy if you want to speak with someone and this person is texting between the conversation. Not only Suzie is like that. I don't want to know how many millions of messages are going around on this islands day by day.
I closed my phone. I was tired to text around and to read all this lies from Suzie. I finished my work on my computer and started to make me ready for my first single night since two months. I left the house short past 7PM. Buy the way to the trike terminal, the only way to come out of this area, I met Sol. I did not know that she left her home nearby the same time. Why should I think about, why to make an update, when, where is leaving the house? There is only one way to the trike terminal, so we went together there. She took her trike driver and I took my trike driver to bring me me out of the area. Outside the area, I took a taxi and I was on the way to Manila to find somewhere a nice place to take a dinner. I did not know the way from Sol and how she want to come to her place she wanted to go. It was not in my mind. I tried to find a nice place to relax.
I was still sitting in the taxi as I got a text from Suzie :"enjoy your tym with your new girlfriend". I thought 'OH NO'. Someone of her agents saw us walking the same way to the trike terminal and they sent her a message that I date Sol and that we were leaving together the area where we live. I could not answer so quick as the next text arrived "i know you date this (piep). you are the last (piep) i hate you". I did not expect that she arranged some agents to spy behind me, what I am doing or when I am leaving the house. I answered that I am in the taxi alone and that I am on the way to find something to eat. This was my mistake, I should have to close my phone and enjoy the evening. But, I tried to explain my ex girlfriend that her agents are telling her the wrong story. And why she believes more other people then me? What gives them more reliability then me? I called her, but it did not help. The phone call was without result, she was crying on the phone that I lie to her and that I cheat her with this (piep) and so on. I asked her why she left the house if she is in doubt that I cheat her with someone? It was an endless discussion. In the end I told her, that she cancelled the relationship and I do know what I want. The rest of the evening I got one message after the other from "I love you so much and I miss you" to "you are the last (piep) i ever met, why you hurt me so much" over "enjoy you new life with this (piep) (piep)..." I did not reply. I read them all and I tried to enjoy the good music in the bar with the friend I met there. I drank one Jack Daniel Coke after the other. In the end of the night I was really drunk. I wanted to find a taxi, but my Philippine friend said: " It's too dangerous in the night, drunk, a far way with the taxi alone, they will cheat you or however." He invited me in his house and I slept directly on the sofa.
I woke up in the morning in a house I did not know, on a sofa I did not know. But alone. OK. I found on my mobile only some messages from the night before and I thought, maybe she understood. I had absolutely no mood to go back home. On this place where I am the hole day under control of the agents of Suzie. I decided to go to the bus terminal and take the next bus to the ocean. A weekend without laptop and stupid people around. I was not prepared for a trip like this, but no matter. I drank my coffee, because the Philippine breakfast is not possible for me to eat. Rice and meat or whatever, not really warm...Sorry no. Not in the morning. Especially after such a night.
I found the bus terminal and I took the first bus I found and I said to the driver:"Bring me to the ocean". He said "OK". I took my place and the bus starts. My camera was laying at home, shit. No matter. The trip goes to Batangas. I was there one time as I was on Mindoro. The barcas are landing there to come to Puerto Galera. I thought ok... I only wanted to see the ocean, to get some fresh air in my head and to decide what to do with Suzie and my life. The trips in the buses are always funny. Every view meters someone comes in or out and sellers try to sell you hand food. I don't know exactly what it is. But it taste good. I don't know what else I ate since I am here and I don't want to now it, honestly. It was silent on my phone and I enjoyed the trip.
It was 10:50AM on Saturday as the first messages from Suzie arrived: "Gud morning 2day i went 2 the clinic 2 get check up d doctor told me im pregnant."
I could not reply direct. I was in shock. Of course she threw up in the last days very often, but this could be also her nervous stomach. I made my jokes about, but who is thinking on this? From the time table possible. And she knew how I was thinking about. I paid the pills, that things like this not happen. I trusted her, why I should control every morning if she really take them. Also it could be one of her stupid stories. Three minutes later the next text: "Cuz i know u been enjoy ur tym with ur new gurl alot of people they knows it that u saw u both last nyt together bt anyways thanks and gudluck for ur newlovelyf with her im ok nt mad at u im hapi cuz im pregnant i think dis is a nice gift dat god gve 2 me thank u alot". (sorry, but this is the origianl text how she was always writing her texts). Then she called me, but I could not speak with her. It was really noisy in the bus. I only told her that I am on the way to Batangas and that I call her so soon as possible. Then the texting terror start from new. The rest of the trip, I was busy to find out from her if it's true or not. She started that's not my problem and that I should enjoy my new love with this woman and she is happy and anyway I will never met this child , because I cheated her and hurt her so much. And that I ruined our relationship and so on and on and on and on..... between she loves me so much and why I hurt her so much and why I lie to her... but thanxs for the present of the child....never ending story. I got really stressed slowly. She was still believing the messages of other people, and all I said was for her always a lie.
The bus stopped somewhere in Batangas. I bought a fresh T-shirt, toothbrush and cream, shower gel and I was on the way to find a small hotel. I thought. First I need a shower, fresh clothes and a beer. I took a jeepney to come nearer to the ocean and I found a nice place. I checked in, took my shower and my first beer on this day. Then I walked to the ocean and I did not replay all the messages from Suzie. I closed my phone, was sitting on the peer and was only thinking how to stop this night mare. Who was lying all the time? Who was planing behind me the wedding party? What is my mistake in this film? I did not find the answer on this day. I checked sometimes the new messages but I did not reply. One of her last messages was: "but what island you now cuz if you tell me the truth i believe u i love u so much and u so important for me cuz soon ur a daddy mathias". She changed her feeling from 'I will never hear something from you, and she hates me to the biggest love message', I can imagine. Something in her head seems to be really wrong. Between I received a message from a number I did not know :"hey mathias its me sol im here now in manila thanks for the time together". First I never reply on numbers I don't know and second this message could not be from Sol. No reason to reply. Once more a joke from Suzie. By sure. It was night now , I was still sitting there on the peer but now was time to search for a bar to get some entertainment. I closed my phone.
I woke up in my hotel and I was sure, the show is over and now she will get the answer. I will write down this story and I will make it public. Everyone will know what kind of woman she is. And the first step will be to stop her dream trip to France. It was now really time to kick back. The first what I will do, If I am at home, I will catch me her agents and a big wind will go through the area. That was the first goal. To protect my home. My combat spirit was awoken.
Suzies first message was on this day only "goodmorning babe". 'Hmmm' I thought. I answered that I am on the way back home to clean out the area from her agents, and that I call her if the situation is cleared. She answered she will waiting my call. The trip back in the bus was quiet, no messages more and I could think about what to do as next. I was angry, that I have always to fix the shit from Suzie...
As I was at home I met my neighbour and he told me that they got the hole weekend messages from Suzie, that I am with Sol somewhere and that Suzie is pregnant and I cheat her, that she will come back, that she loves me so much but I hurt her so much and that she got the prove, that I date this girl and so on. The same stories I got this weekend. I found out, that all the people we know together, got the SMS terror from Suzie, that I cheated her with the neighbour girl and that I kicked her pregnant out of the house. What a lie... once more.
The first I did was to cancel my birthday party end of January. I don't have mood to celebrate my birthday with people they telling stupid things and lies about me. No. Better alone or with some really good friends somewhere outside. I told my neighbour, he wanted to organise it all, to tell the people why I don't do it, and that the agents from Suzie are guilty about, that I celebrate somewhere else. The plan for the party was to invite all the neighbours and to make a nice party with all... but under such people. No way. I know, that's only one or two or three, but this was my way to show the community, not like this. As Sol arrived from her weekend she shows me also that she got minimum 20 messages from Suzie and all with bad "piep"-words. Unbelievable how much time and energy she in her illusion invested. Suzie told everyone the same lie, that I kick a pregnant woman out of the house. I am happy that my friends can laugh about such things.
I thought about to send out to all her friends the pictures I found in the zip-file. That they get a nice present from her. Wednesday January 21st was her birthday, I thought that is a nice present for her if she don't stop this terror. I called her in the evening and I told her that she had to stop all this lies and that I expect now from her now, that she will send out to all the people before, the truth, that she cancelled the relationship and not I, with a big sorry. Especially to Sol. I told her that if I don't get a respond from all the people, especially from Sol, that I will send out the pics from the "Italian"-guy to all her chat mates. First she did not understand what I mean. Because the "Italian"-guy was in real the "French"-guy and she forgot what she told me in August last year. She did not know that I have still this folder. I saw no other possibility to stop her. First reaction: "never mind go further"... some minutes later, panic. She called me back. She was once more crying on the phone:" You can not do things like this, I love you so much, I miss you, and please don 't do it..........blablablabla" I only said to her:" You know what to do, you have 24 hours time to stop your agents and to say sorry to Sol and to the other people. Don't waste your time. Go." The rest of the evening I was spending on my computer to check all my mails and to bring me on the actual point in the normal life. As I was finish I thought, there must be a way to stop the trip to France. I opened the mails I copied some days before, and I read the story of this man. His name is Thierry. As I read it all, I thought by myself: ' this man is emotional not really stabilize for a game from Suzie. I don't want to go here now in the detail, I hope Thierry will tell here his story also one day. I thought, if Suzie will go to France to make the same show like here, married this man, gets all money and what he has out of him, gets an European passport, makes her jealousy show, gets divorced... I don't know what will happen with this man if he realised that he was only cheated. I was in worry that something really bad can happen to this man or to Suzie. I felt, this could be a game without control and especially Suzie can not control a game like this. She is good, but for this game not good enough. I closed my computer and went to bed to think about. I received some message from Suzie like always, that she loves me and so on... the normal things. Only nice messages. But I was thinking what to do, to go in touch with Thierry or not. On one side I thought, what he will do if I tell him the truth. Suzie will tell him the same like me about him, that I am her ex boyfriend and that I want her back and that I hurt her so much and how bad I am and anyway only lie. He will believe her and everything will go his way. I have to bring him the prove that I am not interested in Suzie, that I want to protect him in front of a big mistake in his life, that this man believes me. What to do? I didn't sleep this night. I was walking up and down, left and right, I made a walk through the area and I was thinking. Do it or not. If I do it, I will break a heart from a man in France, but I protect him to make a big mistake. If not, Suzie starts a game without control and who knows how this man react if he realised the truth. On one side I thought, why am I thinking about the feelings of a man in France, I have enough to do with my own, and let them do what they want. On the other side, I felt responsible. If I know something and I feel this can go totally wrong, I have to safe the situation and maybe one or two life. I have to think about.
Tuesday January 20th. I was waiting the hole day on the respond from my friends that Suzie tried to say sorry. Nothing, but it was silent and no more terror an any mobile. Maybe she understood now that my fun in this game is slowly by the end. I saw no reason to send the exclusive photos to her friends. Anyway I would never do things like this. But my idea found the right point in Suzies brain to stop this terror to the people and she understood that this is only a problem between her and me. I went shopping and I bought a small teddy bear for the son of Sol. I came back in my house. Everything and everyone around was happy and I gave the small boy my present. The boy and his mother, there were not out of the garden the terror starts on my and on Sols mobile. I realised one of her agents is very near. I got messages from her cousin, that they will come here to Manila to kill this woman who makes so much pain to Suzie. Sol got the same messages. And they told me Suzie is now in the hospital because she started to bleeding... My comment was only... "Good she got her period..." But the texting terror was full running around. I tried to call Suzie to stop her cousin, but she did not pick up her phone. Sol and I did not react on the messages and I don't want to publish them here.... I don't have so much (piep) in my computer... this textes were really under every level. I found out that the agent the pregnant nanny from my direct neighbour is. I went there with my neighbour to protect me. I knocked at her door and I told her really sharp, that she put her stupid nose out of my things and that she had to stop with sending news to Suzie, and that she is by sure busy enough with her job, if not I have to speak with her boss that she get some things more to do. This woman keeps five kids, makes the complete household, cooking, washing by hand, is pregnant and had still time to play the agent for Suzie. I was really angry. This was clear and my neighbour explained her in taglish once more the reason for my visit. I was sure she understood. One problem less in the future. I did not want to scare this woman and she felt really sorry about her stupidity. OK forget about, we are living in a small place all together and there is it not good if something goes wrong. I wanted to continue to a normal peaceful life. The rest of the evening was texting with Suzie, I called her and I told her once more. If Sol will receive only one more message from her or from her cousin I will sent out the pics to her friends... I was in moment nearby to do it, really. Suzie got panic, that she can not reach her cousin and she will clear it next day, I said only "One message more and your friends will get a nice present to your birthday". Then the normal theatre, crying "don't do it blablablablabla......" But it was silent on the phone from Sol. She gave it to me that I can control. Suzie sent me in this night only some text how much she loves me and so on...rest was silent. What a day... start perfect - end, only stress. I got really tiered about all and still in doubt if I should contact Thierry to tell him the truth.
I opened my laptop and I contacted Thierry about the messenger. He was not online and I put a offline message in his box with a contact request. He should go in touch with me, if he is interested in the truth of Suzie. I went to bed and tried to sleep. How he would react?
I tried to sleep, but I was really nervous. In the morning as I was back online, I saw that Thierry cancelled my contact request and did not reply. What to do, is he really not interested in the truth? What would I do if someone send me a message like this about the women I plan to marry? I thought I would ask first the woman, what it is? If he is thinking like this, not good. Suzie will tell him her lies about me and he will believe and will never go in touch with me. I was waiting till midday. I was really nervous. No reaction. I decided I have to stop her game. I wrote a email to Thierry with all proves that he can believe me and gave him a short cut about the risk to get married with Suzie. Also a short cut of this story. Some pictures and my contact details. Now he could decide by himself what he want to do. I continued my work and I felt better. A nice birthday present for Suzie. It was January 21st. I phoned her quickly and I wished her all the best to her birthday and that all her dreams comes true. She started to tell me how she loves me and that she want to come back here and we continue our happy life together. I said I would be happy and I want to see her soon and then we will speak. The rest of this day no messages or calls from her. I was happy that it was so silent on my mobile.
Suddenly the messenger popped up and Thierry added me in his contact list. He asked me if we can speak. We had a really long long chat and he wanted from me some back proves that I really tell the truth. No problem. I only can imagine what was happen in this man in this moment. I hope he will post his story also. He was awaken and he wanted to call her directly and cancel all the plans with visa, marriage and so on. I asked him if he can keep silent for some days, because Suzie will be here in the next week and I want look in her eyes if I tell her what I know. I wanted to make a picture from the face, because not only me can look stupid. He was agree and he wanted to send out the mail to the French embassy directly and that he will stop directly to send money to her, he was sending every month money. He expect a birthday money, but this is now also cancelled. I felt really sorry for this man in this moment. This day was a good day in this game.
Next day. Thursday January 22nd. Thierry contacted me that he was talking with her on the phone and that he told her, that the papers are on the way and and that she only has to wait for the invitation from the French embassy and that she can expect that the appointment will be in one or two weeks. She told him the same then me, how she loves him, and how she missed him...I think we know the lies now........ He told me some things from his life and what he would do if he would see Suzie once more, or if he would realise the truth and she would be there. I thought... pffff... if this are his fantasies than I am happy to stop this game. I know some things are quickly said if you are angry, but my doubt about the emotional stability was not without reason. He told me some things from his sexual fantasies and I asked him if Suzie knows about. He said no... but she will learn it. I thought if Suzie really reached to come to France she will get an experience what she not expect. There goes something wrong in the moment. I tried to cool him down. Because the mail to the embassy, to stop the invitation, was still not sent out, but I believed him he will do it. I was in worry but still under control. Between the normal messages from Suzie, I did not reply. In the evening she called me and and she starts from new, that I lie to her and that I cheat her with Sol, the normal theatre and that she can not trust me and that I hurt her so much...We know it. I was really happy. Nothing changed. The good thing was, she realised this is only her and my problem and she will keep all other people out of the game. Anyway she lost one agent after the other. But she found no end. After the call she continued with her messages. I thought by myself. Now its enough. I sent her a message :"Now I tell you who is the liar and the cheater. Greetings from Thierry the wedding party is cancelled". Outside the weather was not good in this evening, a thunderstorm drew up. It was like a film. In this moment I pushed the button to send the message to Suzie, a flesh and thunder goes over the house. And really this is not a dramatic part of a story teller, it was real. I thought, now the air gets clean. A big rain started short after this. I took myself the fun to look in her face, but I wanted to finish this story. I have to find my life back. Thierry was online and I told him that the bomb is explored. The answer from Suzie "never mind".. I know her "never mind". In this moment starts something in her head. It was maybe two minutes my later, my mobile was ringing. Suzie. She asked me how she should understand my message. And I told her all what I felt since I know that she was planing her wedding party in France behind my back and that she is really the last person in the world with the right to call me as a liar or a cheater. That she switched about a small harmless chat and a smile from a girl to me, and she is planing to get married in France and this since we know us... Who is now cheating and lying? The only words she found was, I love you and she will come back and we will speak about. I said "OK.. tell me when you will arrive, then we can speak." Thierry sent me the news what happen in France. She tried to call him direct. He did not pick up the phone. Every ten minutes she tried to call in France. No answer. She tried to call me once more. But it was only one time ringing, I had no reason in the moment to call her back. This game continued the half of the night. One ring and waiting that I call her back. No way. I closed my phone and went to bed.
Friday January 23rd. Thierry told me that he spoke with her and that she was trying to reach him till 4:30 AM Philippine time. So so, Suzie got a sleepless night. She was really nervous. He told me that she was telling him exactly this stories what I expect, that I am a liar and so on.. that she loves him so much and he is the only one. She still did not changed the song. I asked him what's his plan now? He gave me an answer about teaching and education in his way. I was not really happy about and I tried to find out his idea. In my mind, his sexual fantasies. He gave me the prove that I am not on the wrong way. I saved the conversation and I sent it to Suzie at her mail address. She should know how to handle his words. Maybe was not right, but I thought I have to give her the information. Because I knew, she did not know about it. I had the feeling my job is done and the story will find his end. And all the rest now is the part of Thierry and Suzie how they will handle their life and ideas. I was not willing to go more in their discussion. All I wanted, to interrupt Suzies game with feelings and emotions was reached. The rest will show the future. I got some message from Suzie on this day, the normal things about love and missing me and that she will come back. But her most interest on this day was to know if someone else is now sleeping in our bed or is living in my house. I am still living and sleeping alone. Now since one week as she left the house. Unbelievable If I think about... it's only one week ago that she left. She told me that she is now in Cebu and that she will have a "friend" date on Saturday evening with a guy she met in a mal. In the night I was thinking about all once more and if I was right and I decide to write this story, that everyone can read it. I thought this can help me to understand all what happened in the last two months, or better in the last two weeks. Maybe she will come soon and we can speak about, but I think I will never get the truth from her.
On Saturday morning I wrote her a mail, but I did not got a answer on it. I am still in contact with Thierry and I try to keep this contact. I would like to speak with him one day in person. Maybe he will come here one day. It was on this day very quiet on my phone. Also Sunday and Monday. I think she was "busy". I did not meet her online and she did not send any message. Tuesday evening I found some missed calls on my phone from her, but it was ringing only one time always. I thought, if she want to speak with me, why I should call her back. Her last try was 1:30 AM. The same Wednesday morning 9 AM only one ring on the phone. And then every hour only one ring...
I remembered in the night one chat in this time as I was back in Spain. I told her in this time, if I come back to the Philippines I want to know the real 'Suzie'... She answered "Yes, you will"... I think this was the only truth I got from her.
It was only two weeks ago that Suzie left the house, and only since one week really quiet around my mobile and the place I live. Also no contact to Thierry, I think he is busy enough to bring his life in a good way back to the normality.
The rumours were going around that Suzie plans to come here very soon, but I did not believe. Someone told it to Sol on the street, but he only heard about from someone else and the root is untraceable. I did not care about, but I felt, she is still like a shadow over me and the house. And who knows, maybe she is standing one day here in front of me.
Sol was always around me so often she could go out of her family. In all this trouble before it happened one evening that we were sitting very near together and we started to kiss. I think she counted on it. But that was all, nothing more. I still lived and slept alone in my house and I did not want to replace the space on my side in the moment.
Sol started to love me really. I did not want to go further. It was a mistake that we kissed this day... but I can not turn back the time. A friend of mine said me. "Don't think so much, enjoy. We are living here in the girls paradise... Don't care." Hmmmm I have to think about it. In the evening I went out with my neighbour Bam and we were in a bar in Paranaque City and we had only fun. He reached it that I could forget for a while. On the way I received a message, not from Suzie, from Sol "enjoy your evening.." I thought 'oh no - not this'. Now she starts in the same way. Sorry, but I am a little bit sensitive since some weeks if a woman tell me that I should "enjoy" an evening without her. I think women doing it extra to kill a good feeling with friends without them. Maybe I got paranoia, but "enjoy" is for me the non word of the year 2008. Bam and I we had fun and we stated my birthday weekend.
On my birthday I had a meeting with Rowena Macaida in Makati and I came with new ideas and new motivation on the business side at home, between a lot of calls and messages from people they were thinking at me on this day. The planed party with the neighbours was anyway cancelled about the rumours and lies from the agents of Suzie, so I bought a bottle of cava and I enjoyed, and this now really, the evening alone on my terrace. It was a wonderful evening and I celebrated my success from the day and my birthday with me. Anyway the party with my friends was planed a day later.
January, 31. 2009. Suzie started some days before with an new game. Every hour my phone was ringing only one time. Or she sent one text how happy she is and that she enjoys her party time with a lot of Tequila with friends somewhere. This messages were going also to all my friends. She told everyone that she in the moment on Hundred Island. But it was not true... she was here in Metro Manila somewhere. We checked it about the routing points of the provider. This information is always sent with the message. She moved the last days between Makati, Pasay and Paranaque City around. She tried to be near...why this game now? All was planed for the evening and we wanted to meet the "weng-weng-girls" between 10 PM and 10:30 PM in my famous comedy bar in Marikina. By the way to the party i received a message: "wow you will have a nightmare guest today." I did not reply. I had nightmares enough and today was party on the program. We arrived the comedy bar and i received a message: "enjoy your night somewhere with your new girlfriend". In this moment was clear, she was at my house and everything was dark. I thought, 'her problem' and I closed the phone for the rest of the night.... And we had really fun this evening....
In all this party, Bam and I we came on the idea, that we start now a game with Suzie. The idea was, that I official disappear. The plan was. Bam will send her a message, that i gave him my mobile, 500 Peso for the taxi and I left the party drunk, with the words that I go now to search for Suzie and from this moment I was disappeared. All this started Sunday afternoon after a lot off missed calls and unanswered messages from Suzie. Suzie got really nervous. She sent out her agents to have a look if I am in my house or not and she believed once more only them. The agent told her that I am there with a girl or with Sol. All not true, but she believed. In the end, she was more in worry if I am maybe in the house with someone, then if something really happen. I realised in this story that I am always under control of some agents around and my wish was to go someday to the sea to think about all and to make a plan for the future. The next day I took a bus to San Fernado la Union to enjoy some days only beach and sun.
It was wonderful, alone on the beach, looking the waves, walking around and thinking about what will happen as next. I wanted to stay till Sunday, but I got a call from a company, I applied some days before, and I had to go back till Saturday. I took the bus at Friday morning back to Manila. After eight hours in the bus and a lot of traffic I arrived in the evening Manila. It was raining. After all the silent from the last days back in the Friday traffic chaos. I found the right jeepney and i was like always. A foreigner in a jip always a sensation. Some girls came in also and they started to flirt with me. They started to whisper about me and I said to them that they can talk with me direct and that they don't need to whisper only about me. They called Joy and Jane and they asked me about my number and if they can call me one day. I gave it to them, they left the jip and for me was it done with a smile in my face. Some minutes later I also left the jip to find something to eat and the tricycle at home. By the way to the trike I met the two girls once more, suddenly they were standing in front of me. We had a nice chat, but I was to tiered to spend longer time with them, because I wanted to come home. The rest of the evening I got one message after the other from the girls and they told me that they want to meet me soon and that I am so cute and that they can not forget me. What is wrong in the moment? I think I have to stop to smile. I answered them that we can meet us the next day and I wanted to clear some things that I am in the moment not interested to go in the next relation or something.
The next day I had meeting with Randy. He works in the same company I applied and he was sent out if I am the right one for this job. We like us really, he is also German and since seven years here on the Philippines. We had a good feeling to each other and the business talk changed quickly in a private chat. I think this can be funny to work and spend some time together......
It was now one month ago... only one month. I tried to forget her. It did not work. Suzie was still a poison in me. I tried to forget her. It did not work. I tried to meet other girls and women. I did not get her out of my mind. I made myself to a fool. I knew. I lost some business clients now about this story, but if they can not make the different between business and private life... Sorry then I don't need them. I tried to start now a new life, to get free of all. I got the new job now, so my staying here is secure. I cancelled the contract of my small house and I will find soon a new home but Suzie is still the shadow. I am still waiting that she explained me everything... But I have to find my way now...
The chapter with Suzie found the end. It was planed that we will meet in the beginning of march. We were in contact the whole time and in my heart and brain came the idea, maybe we have a chance once more to find back our happy time and maybe to create a happy end in this story. But I missed complete like the whole time. She wanted to change her attitude and stop her jealousy. It was planed she will come and we speak. One evening we were chatting on the mobiles and she started suddenly once more with her fantasy that I was guilty on the break, cause I was starting something with this woman, how she called always Sol. This was one time to much. I realised suddenly that there will never be a changing. Beside I started a test with a friend of mine. We wanted to know if she is really in Cebu, like she said or if she is still here in Manila. My friend sent her a message that he like to meet her. She answered very quick that he should call her and in some messages that she like to meet him soon.... I got all the messages as forward on my mobile. In the end we broke the test with an message to her and greetings from me that she failed now complete. After that she tried to call me, to call my friend, sent messages with the normal bla bla bla... After the fives call i picked up the phone and she triedd to explain, but what is there to explain? I only said to her, that this was now her last chance to repair the situation but she missed it. She will never change or understand and now it is clear I could never trust her, I tried once more, but there is no way back. I know i will never get the truth from her, she will never be so brave to write her side of the story here.....
continue with---> "I met a"wow girl"